He(art)

Show Up Scientist!

June and the Poop Kids

June and Michelle

Back to the Beach

I'm home again, as worn out as the batteries in my phone and camera. I'll fill in the last few days this week, as we've been w/o the google tubes for the past few days. In the meantime, here's a few rules for touring Espana:

1) Get out of Madrid ASAP. Hit the Prado and the Palace in one day, then move on. It just doesn't have the charm and scenic setting of the outlying cities. Yea, you can party all night, but if that's really what you're after, go to Ibiza. It's also cheaper in many of the surrounding areas.

2) They're not kidding about the wacky times in Spain. Check 'em carefully, or it will probably be closed when you show up. In general, there is a 2 hour morning slot, and a 3-4 hour afternoon slot when any historical feature will be open. Other than that, cerrado.

3) If you can survive on moderate drinking and light eating, you can just order some beers for lunch. Doing this allows you to eat before 2PM. If you have two drinkers with you, stagger the orders for more tapas. Shop around for the best deals.

Buenas Noches!

Madrid: Day 3
Heaven and Hell

Today was a blur of churches and bars, with the ratio of Church/Bar being close to 2 or so. It all works out given multiple drinks at the bars. The main cathedral beside el Palacio Real was closed, but we did manage to enter the crypts, which were interesting in their own way. I pondered how much one would have to donate to a church before they would go so far as to bury you in the building underneath the feet of the other worshippers. But hey, somethings are worth any price right? And they had a nice statue of Pope John Paul out front.

Rock da beat PJ!

We also made it to the Big Church of San Francisco, which is notable for having one of the largest domes in Europe, and the Capilla de San Isidro (I like the SoCal spelling better). The latter still bore some of the scars from an anarchist bombing prior to WWII. We also tried attending a museum containing many maps of Madrid over various time points, but it was sadly under construction (get ready for repeats of that phrase). To counter balance all the church time, we went to view the only statue to Satan in all of Europe, found in Madrid's main park. He's up at the top of this post.

The touring of the day ended at El Prado, the Spanish National Museum of Art. Now I was pretty excited as they had been advertising a special section of Francis Bacon. Only it didn't turn to be the nerdy-cool Sir Francis Bacon, but an artist by the same name. However, his art was great stuff (check out his screaming Pope) and well worth some time pondering. The rest of the Prado...I could go without most of it. There were some pictures by Bosch that are classics, as well as some great stuff by Goya, but other than that it was lots of mundane paintings that didn't do much for me. Quoth the Jackass "Europe's primere museum of art that I don't like." Yowch.

We ended the day at La Finca de Susana, a restuarant the Rough Guide said we should run to. It was rather posh for a supposedly cheap-end eatery and seemed to be frequented by locals and tourists alike. I was caught off guard by my chilly vegtables, having been described as oven-roasted I rather expected them to be, well, warm not gezpacho style. The pollo ratatouille was rather good and JA had to guard against an elderly woman's advances on his calamari. Yum.

I should mention that Madrid is currently having a Cow Parade, in which various artists get to dress up cows in creative ways of their choosings. This one in particular caught my eye, as fiery war-gods can require ice cold women to withstand our high-temp touch. Still, I wasn't quite sure about the coloration of this one in particular, but luckily the artist was nearby as I was snapping fotos and I got to ask a few questions his way.

When I asked about the color, he responded in his half-english, half-artist sort of way: "Why the blua? Well zee colors, they are deeferent things non? Love iz red, like the fiery blood, but sin, de sin of dezire iz dee blue-ah. If you go to embrace her she would melt, no? Dis color weel then come to you. She will cover you wiff sin."
Such is my life dear reader.

Madrid: Day 2

We started the day at the Palacio Real de Madrid, used by the Spanish Monarchy up until the beginning of the 20th century. The palace is essentially one large square building, with the inside being taken up by a large courtyard. The most impressive thing to me was the Royal Armory. I’m sure I made D&D jokes here the first time around (“Excuse me, do you have any Vorpal weapons?”). This time was al WoW (“Have any of these swords received the Crusader enchantment?”). Yup 23 years of dorkdom ladies. The workmanship on some of the crafted armor and weapons was truly impressive. The armor suits were set up on purple-velvet mannequins and realistically posed to induce nightmares (especially the smaller suits for the King’s children). I felt bad for the horses that had to bear not only a plate-wearing knight, but their own heavy armor into battle. The royal pharmacy was impressive mostly by the amount of material they had on hand (“Where do they keep their MSDSs?” mused JA). Most of the Palace itself wasn’t particularly exciting either, but there were a couple of rooms that were very impressive: One in which the entire surface had been covered in porcelain and another in which much of the room had been covered in carved marble.

Being as it was around noon, we next tried to score some lunch, and found out that lunch is around 1:30 in Spain. To pass the time, we decided to have a few beers and made a wonderful discovery about Madrid: for every round of beer you buy, you get some free tapas. The guide book had suggested that this was an outdated tradition, so we were quite happy to find it still active. To be scientific, we tested the tradition at several cervezerias, all of which brought us small snacks with each round.

We ended the day by heading toward the Botanical Gardens. Not exactly the right time of year to go, but the sections in hot-houses were well-tended. The cactus section in particular had some interesting specimens. Being a botanical garden out of season, it makes sense that it is the place you want to have an exhibit on Shackleton’s expedition to the South Pole. *cough* The exhibit was rather interesting with most of the photographs taken by the team’s official archivist on display, including some rare color transparencies.

Of course the perfect ending of the day was some more doner kabobs. That and the cookies we found called “Filipinos”. Ahhh, colonialism, what fun you've caused.

Atocha Rail Station

Madrid: Day One

We arrive in Madrid on schedule (7AM) despite American Airlines best attempt to throw us off by not balancing the baggage at the outset. Jackass (JA) jokes about designating his own smoking zone, since he barely had time to power-puff down a cigarette between connections at JFK. I kinda hope he does so I can put the recent fire-safety training I had into action by squirting him with the Class ABC fire extinguisher I see hanging on the wall. As it was, we dutifully trudged through customs (“Why do we have to get costumes in Spain?” I overheard a child ask.) and onto the Metro. We arrive at our hotel around 9AM hoping to drop off some luggage. We’re informed that we can occupy the room at that time, if we so desire. This sounds like a good thing, but in situations like this it is far too easy to lose the day to what is supposed to be a quick nap. Hoping to prevent jet lag by synchronizing to local time, we drop off the bags and immediately head back to the Metro and try to stay awake until evening.

On Sundays in Madrid, most of the museums are free. We head to the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia, as it’s the one with the earliest opening time. The Reina Sofia focuses on 20th and 21st century art, having a large collection of early Cubist and Surrealist works, as well as some more modern Avant-garde. I’m surprised both JA and I agree that some of the more interesting paintings are done by Jose Gutierrez Solona. His work is dark, both in nature and in practice, many of the paintings seemingly devoid of any thing brighter than brown.

Of course Dali’s Little Cinders fascinates me for a good five minutes. In my mind, very few surrealists stand anywhere near Dali. Mostly because their paintings aren’t REALISTIC as their genre name would imply. (Miro: WTF?) That rear-end near the bottom central of the painting looks like it would be warm to the touch when you see the painting in person.

The powerhouse piece of the MNCARS is Picasso’s Guernica, a very large nearly twin-tone painting done in response to the air-raids upon the town of the same name in the early part of the 20th century.

I actually found a kindred spirit there in the exhibition that focused n Paul Thek. Described as an artist’s artist, he seemed rather close to a merry prankster to me. I wished I could have flipped through his notebooks to see more of his random thoughts (ex: “If you are philosophically unable to raise to action, drop your pants for Jesus!”). His art jumped all over the place over his career span, from really beautiful “Feather Paintings” and word-filled animals, humorous and colorful paintings to his recreation of his Pharoaic burial. This also ended up inspiring some of his somewhat sickening Meat Pieces. (Unfortunately I can't find a good link to the majority of his material, so you'll have to poke around on your own dear reader.)

In the end, his prankster prodding and poking at the establishment seemed to weigh him down: “I don’t enjoy doing ‘bad art’ but people still don’t get it, they don’t get what evils society has. So I keep dong it….but it makes me feel bad as well.” I feel you Paul, that same sadness hit me after every penis drawing I did in high school. They just didn’t get it then either.

Unfortunately, for lunch we had Mr. Surly European as our waiter. We didn’t get olives, like the other folks. We didn’t get the check when we asked. Heck, we didn’t even get napkins with our food. Mr. Surly didn’t get much of a tip. This really made me question why we bothered coming to Europe, when South and Central America are much closer, the folks much friendlier and the cultural art etc. more interesting (at least to me). Nothing like some snobby nob like to put a damper on your day. We brushed through the Standard Issue Archeological Museum and caught the Metro back near the hotel, pretty exhausted and a little disappointed.

The day was saved by some Young Turks, who made the best dang Doner Kabob’s south of Alemania. It’s amazing how much good food and beer can lift your spirits. I expect to return there often before leaving Madrid.

Irony Bites

Apologies for the lack of updates dear reader, but there are several issues: 1) Blogger assumed my literacy in Thai script based on my location. I must have hit 'save as draft' vs. post for the previous missive. 2) The interweb is $20 a day here, so I haven't had it up and running at all times. During the conference days, I was actually pretty exhausted by the time things finished up, especially given the time difference, so it wasn't unusual to zonk out around 8PM (and wake at 4AM) after dinner.

The conference was good and I think we represented ourselves well. The end of the last day was given to 'other topics' and included an excellent talk of the current status of HIV vaccines, many of which are in study here in Thailand.

One particularly brave speaker saddled up to the podium with a mother of a presentation. Whenever someone gets their talk freshly loaded, you can sneak a peek at the lower corner of PowerPoint to see how many slides their talk contains. This whopper had 84! Rule of thumb 1 minute per slide and yer looking at an hour and half talk in a supposed 45 minute time frame. Extras at the end? I mused. I decided to keep count during her talk. I gave up around 40 or so, as it was clear she was going to hit every one of them. Not only that, but her slides were dense as iron ore. Witness:

"In Depth" vols. 1-3 available separately

Please note that 'briefly' in the title. Overwhelming to say the least, which is really too bad because the talk was informative and well done otherwise. The sheer volume of info turned many people off about halfway through (remember folks, they are only going to remember 3-5 things from your whole talk, not per slide). She also made the crucial error of running over into lunch. Nothing will turn an audience on you quicker than that.

Now back to ME. I'm sick as a dog. Really. I felt a little funny during the Friday session and decided just to order room service and stay in for the night. Ya know, busy week and all, sleep up for the big day Saturday. Upon waking, it was clear something was wrong. I had the classic case of what's known in G-town as "The Punies". Joint aches, fever, headache and the general feeling of having been run over by a tuk-tuk carrying a few obese Americans. I tried to sleep it off with the help of some Excedrin. I didn't feel much better around noon, but I forced myself up and about to try and go see the weekend market. By the time I got to the street it was clear this was a mistake and I was going nowhere far. I spied a 7-11 across the street and decided to stock up on a few provisions. It took my addled brain a few moments to realize that there never was going to be a traffic light signal to let me cross and that I had to climb the walkway over head to reach the other side. (Stairs, why did it have to be stairs?) I was pretty woozy going over, but I was helped across by the soothing voice of a street performer that lured me like a siren. Water, salt and sugar objects were purchased and I retreated to my room. I tried to catch a few minutes of sleep between the frequent visits to the bathroom. Various audio tracks would annoyingly lock on repeat in my head ("Children of the Damned" by Iron Maiden, the 'Trogdorr" song by Strong Bad and "Panic in the Streets" by my old austin roommates new band. Good job guys, yer in their with some classics.) I drifted off thinking about all the talks I'd heard the last few days and wondering what endemic bug I'd been bitten by. Malaria? Dengue Fever? Yellow Fever? The dreaded H5? more likely food poisoning or dysentery. (Not the type of infection some of you wags were predicting for me on this trip, sorry to disappoint.) I dreamt the army had me quarantined in their infectious disease lab, while the Navy held 4 similar cases themselves. When I awoke, my fever had broken. Being all sweaty was an overall improvement to the way I had been feeling, so I went back to sleep hoping I'd awake feeling much better and be able to make it to the market on Sunday.

Wishful thinking. The next thing I remember is starting to shiver. Despite wrapping up in the fetal position, things only got worse. Now I had turned the room temp down a bit when I had the fever, but it wasn't that cold. Walking to the bathroom was incredibly difficult as I stumbled and my whole body shook like a palsy patient. By the time the shower water heated up, my jaw muscles were in agony from overuse. The shivering would return the instant I shut the water off. Not fun folks, not fun.

It hasn't been without typical Mars Moments. I went to set my room service tray outside my door. There wasn't a real space for it, but there was a big area across the hall where it fit nicely. The ka-thunk I heard behind me was my door slamming shut, leaving me sans shoes, underwear and key in the hallway. So barefoot, holding my pants up with one hand and with a head of hair that can only come from two days of intermittent sleep and showers (or being a Grateful Dead fan) I headed downstairs amongst the rest of the elegant guests to request my second spare key. Luckily I did have my passport. Nowhere near as funny as a similar story that happened to my friend Doren that involves not one but TWO overflowing toilets. You'll have to get her to tell that one, she does a wonderful job.

My Dear Diary: Jackpot moment came when I found some Immodium AD that Coondog had given me in Guatemala. It hasn't lived up to the AD part yet, but it has soothed the searing pain pulses that were snaking through my intestines. Always appreciate life's small victories.

In less than 24 hours I'll be at the airport for the trip home. Hopefully my situation will improve a good deal more by then. I'm keeping the option open to stay the night in tokyo. If the 5 hour flight sucks, then I'm not doing the 11 hour one, although its considerably less crowded. (i.e. no fighting for the lavatory)

The pic at the top is the father of Thai medicine whom I'm making a special paean to in hopes of a speedy recovery.

Thailand

That's the obligatory shot from my hotel window, looking down at the Chao Praya river.

We arrived for the conference a day early. Despite the jet lag, CO, DJ & myself set off for some adventures. The first adventure was a skiff tour of one of the canal systems that make up 'old Bangkok'. We power-boated past old homes built over the river, some of which had better looking supports than others. Some were run down, but some looked like ideal dwellings. Of course we had to stop for some touristy attractions: a floating 'market', a snake handling show and a chance to create a fish feeding frenzy. Folks, when I say we power boated, I'm not kidding, our little boat could flat out go. Witness the engine:

Suck it Nascar!

At the end of the tour, we were dropped off nearby the Royal Palace and Wat Pho. Wat Pho is the home of the Reclining Buddha as well as the national university for Thai Massage. After DJ's description of the pummeling that is Thai massage, the rest of us decided to pass on the elegant torture. Be sure and check out the picture of the Buddha's feet on the link.

Horizental

My timing for the trip couldn't have been worse: We missed the Loy Krathong festival by just a few days (there were still quite a few Krathongs lingering in the river) and I leave on Tuesday, the King's 70th Birthday. They sure do love their king here in Bangkok. Everyone is supposed to wear yellow in celebration and there's going to be a big ol' parade for him. The upside to this was that Wat Pho and the palace were getting a royal polish. The temples at Wat Pho were nothing short of spectacular. The glass glinted, the gold shone like the sun and the colors were brilliant. One always wonders what things looked like in their heyday, before the ravages of time dull the sparkle. Here I got to see it. I tried to take some pictures, but I don't think they do the majesty of it justice.

We ended the day at a BBQ around the corner from our hotel. The main attraction was the Singha beer sign out front, but it turned out the food was the kicker. Each table had a central slot into which could be dropped a metal pot containing hot coals and ceramic slabs. On top of this you placed a piece of metal shaped like a sombrero to grill some meats on. The outer rim of the covering held water for cooking veggies and noodles and slowly turned into a nice soup on its own. Our waiter could tell we were clueless, so he helped us get started, but soon we were like old pros. Throw in some hot sauce and we were delighted. The total price was just a bit more than what they were going to charge us for three beers back at the hotel. And this was with 6 beers.

Public Health Nightmare

The Fire God Is An Angry One

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and wishes from everyone. I'm fine, I'm down by the beach, and not Solona Beach, which actually does have a chance of getting burned. My main burdens have been breathing smoke and ashes and trying to keep in touch with our employees. Looks like the last fire was a mere warning (4 yours already??? really?). I haven't heard much about what is going on south of the border but I can imagine it could be much much worse than things are here. I mean it's almost comical to hear about 12 homes being burnt and the estimated damages are over 200 million. Almost. Having gone through a small one, I wouldn't wish a fire on anyone. I hope everyone comes out OK.

That's the view from the top of Pt. Loma looking down towards downtown San Diego and the smoke rolling in from the fires this morning. Fun Fun. Later on, the sun looked like an angry fireball heading our way.

(Smoke) Shades of Cairo

Take a picture here,
Take a souvenir…

Time to skedaddle. I really feel like I could spend another week here without seeing everything there is to see. And that’s not even counting Aswan, Abydos, Sharm El Sheik, a nice desert jeep run etc. etc. I wish I could collect cultures the way I collect CDs and I wish languages would imprint themselves in my brain the way crappy pop songs do. I guess I’ll just have to keep traveling.

I know I’m skipping a bit here, but do I really have to tell you how awesome the Pyramids were? They’re the only surviving wonder of the ancient world. The museum? I could have spent all day there just looking at their collection of sarcophagi. The treasures of Tut only make me wonder what we missed from the other 64 tombs. (Wonder if I can start a bidness doing modern day Pharaoh style funerals. The BLING burial! Pimp your corpse!)

Anyhoo, it was a hot day walking around, but that was fine with me as any extra water would have been ready to escape my body anyway (see previous post). The funniest moment was a tourist that in reaction to the touts trying to get him to ‘kiss the sphinx’ had me take a shot so that it looks like his hand is on her ass. Try explaining that to an 11 yr old girl who just wants your money for the kiss shot.

We have a lot of work to do with NAMRU3, so hopefully I’ll be back soon. Right now I’m ready for home. I’m ready for an ice cold Dr. Pepper and a warm carne asado burrito. I’m planning on one big tall Franciskaner Hefewiezen in Frankfurt too. Yum. Maybe two…Oh and football, I’ll take that over soccer any day.

Cheers,
Mars

BWAAA HAAAA HAHAA HAHHA HAHAH HAAA!!!!!!!

In case you missed it, the School Up North pulled a boner of epic proportions in the college football world yesterday.

Simple unbelievable. Good thing Chad Henne (NSFW), Mike Hart and a couple of others came back to win the national championship.

I know, I know, college football on a travel blog, but I did listen to the Buckeye's take care of bidness with Youngstown State via the bunch of tubes sometimes called the interwebs. And this is just monumental, not just for TSUN but for the entire Big10. But it's Michigan losing to the University that brought us "Hot Hot Hot". It's too hard not to laugh.

This would be my reaction as well. Priceless.

Hey Jackass, consider this: Mike can never make fun of a team from North Carolina again.

Go Bucks!

Karnak by Day, the Luxor Temple and the Damn Dam

It's very difficult to upload images here, so you’ll just have to google the sites for yourself and take my word that Karnak was really freakin’ awesome in the daylight. Staggeringly large and slowly added to over hundreds of years by every new ruler that came along, Karnak deserved more time than I could spare for it. Like many holy places, Karnak uses gigantic columns to stress to mortals their stature compared to the gods. Karnak has an amazing array of 134 columns that dwarf all comers. All are decorated from lotus-leaf top to bottom with hieroglyphs, some of which have escaped the direct sunlight and are colored with bright shades of yellow, blue, white and red. Gorgeous.

Beware of Sleestaks

The Luxor Temple is very similar, although much smaller. The added attractions here are some well-preserved statues guarding the gate and a giant obelisk. An unused mosque sits 20 feet above the lower sites of the temple, as that’s where the sand had filled to when the Turks arrived. It shares the double-sided gate style of Karnak, which represents the mountains surrounding a narrow valley, a massive representation of the known world of the Egyptians of the time.

Since I can’t show you pictures, I’ll tell you of my guide on these journeys, who was quite an interesting fellow to travel with. Over the course of a couple of days, he opened up a bit regarding his feelings of modern Egypt, the current archeological work, and his big bringer of worry, the High Dam at Aswan.

Tyr had spent the last 12 years working in the archeological digs around Luxor. He showed me tombs that he had personally helped seal up, and sites where former houses had been blasted away by the Egyptian government. It seems that folks that had taking to dwelling over the Tombs of the Nobles in the Theben Necropolis had also taken to looting a bit as interest in Egyptian artifacts grew around the world (Space is limited for housing, as farmland is crucial. Thus, Egyptians often build over previously allotted land. See Cairo’s “City of the Dead”). These villagers would secretly dig underneath their homes at night, or in the nearby hills, and hope to find a rich tomb where they might break the finger off a mummy or carry away an urn to sell on the black market. They quickly learned to slowly sell these artifacts off, lest their sudden wealth reveal their clandestine treasure huntng. Not everything goes as planned however as Tyr told of occasionally finding bodies that had missed the mummification process: cave-ins, foul air and other mishaps often proved fatal for the unlucky villager. In one infamous case, an entire house collapsed into a sundered tomb. In the end, the Egyptian Antiquities Council convinced the government to bulldoze the village and provide new shelter elsewhere.

Tyr explained the duality of the dam project: control of the water flow had tripled crop collections (year round harvests) and provided much needed electricity for the country. However, since the silt-bearing slough from the heavy rains no longer fertilizes the fields, chemical methods have been employed to conjure up the crops. This has resulted in a steady increase in various cancers for the Nile-dwellers (unverified data, personal communication 2007). To make matters worse, several factories now dump waste into the Nile, as opposed to the age-old method of desert-burial. It is true that malaria and other infectious diseases have been on the rise since the dam was commissioned, and that the Nile delta is now slowly eroding away, where once it grew four meters a year (the silt is currently being stockpiled behind the dam).

But the most arresting alarm for a man comes when you punch him square in the pants: Tyr’s young nephews tell him of their need for Viagra to bring the latest generation into the world. “Can you believe? Young men! All the time: Viagra, Viagra, Viagra!” Which of course leads to (again, unverified) an increase in heart and circulatory problems. In Tyr’s words: “My grandfather would go to the mountain there, to get the stone to sow into the fields, a natural fertilizer. All day, he would follow the donkey, and you know, follow the donkey closely. You see, we don’t allow our daughters to act the way you do in America. But for him, it was no problem to stand tall behind the donkey all day, he was a strong man. But now, only the Viagra brings the wife relief. I hear my nephew’s wife calling like a train station: ‘Ride me! Ride me! Please won’t you ride me?’ We are being slowly poisoned.” (Yea, you know you’re bonding when the ‘Gramps was a donkey duffer’ stories come out.) As Tyr puts it, the people of Egypt don’t feel their left hand in hot water, because the right one is in cold. Maybe he said hand. It could have been testicle. Regardless, Tyr feels frustrated by the current conditions and hopes to raise awareness to change the situation, which he admits will be a difficult struggle.

And I’m the new chicken, clucking open hearts and ears…

Ever since professional eater went wild on with the comments I’ve felt obligated to post a bit about food from my travels. Sadly, the food in Egypt hasn’t been worth blogging home about. That may be partially due to my limited mobility in Heliopolis, although the Grand Café on the Nile was merely adequate, ice-cream non-withstanding. In Cairo, my favorite spot was the NAMRU3 café. Now what does that tell you? Don’t get me wrong they have a fine selection of schwarmas and lamb and on Wednesday they serve an awesome Egyptian mix of pasta, sauce and spices called Kashari (highly recommended by the Egyptian techs and now me). But beyond that, the hotel food has been a let down (it’s a 5-star place, it should be at least decent) and I’ve resorted to raiding various fast-food joints within the adjacent City Stars mall. Last night I ate at Sbarros. In Cairo. Boo me. Twice when my jet lag was still in high gear, I had nothing for dinner but a Coke and some cashews I’d gotten from a local market. (pretty perfect really: sugar AND salt)

Things turned around a bit in Luxor, as the hotel there did have a pretty good buffet, including some Egyptian main courses, salads and desert. It was tasty enough that I went back for thirds, partially because I knew what awaited me in Cairo. The breakfast there was more euro-trad, but still well done.

I also broke down and went to the McDonald’s one night. No, I wasn’t craving for some good ol’ US of A pseudo-meal, I had to get the McRoyal. I mean, a Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but the Royale with cheese…had to be done. But it leads me to the next point:

The reliable Rough Guide warns me that I’m going to get the squirts here, and basically says be prepared and deal with it. Right again Rough guide! At least it’s not the Mexico City street-taco induced ‘OMFG werz the br plz kthx bye’ type of searing distress, but it’s not exactly enjoyable either. It’s like changing a diaper, it’s not that difficult to do, but in the end you still have poop on you. Nothing seems to correct it either, like Freedom Fries from Mickey-D’s. That being the case, tonight I went for the asian eatery in the mall. Turned out to actually be Indian, so I went with the really spicy Chicken Marsala. At least it tasted good.

Living in Luxor(y)

After a brief cabbie argument and a brief one hour flight from Cairo, I arrived in Luxor, formerly Thebes, early yesterday morning. Since it was still early, we headed straight to the Valley of the Kings, where the Pharaohs and their favorite queens, consorts and courtesans stored their mortal remains (and earthly treasures) away from the tomb raiders of Cairo, so that instead they could be plundered by tomb-raiders of Thebes. You know, spread the wealth around a bit.

(The opening shot, although out of chronological order, shows you the view from my hotel. Not bad for $60 a night eh?)

There's no doubt in my mind I could spend all day poking into all 65+ tombs here. Although each one follows a similar patterns (each departed soul must past through 4 serpent-guarded gates) each one is unique in build and detailed decoration. As it was, I only had time for three: the Tomb of Rames IX, Ramses IV and Ramses VI. You can find detailed descriptions and maps for all the tombs here. It was easy to see why the limited access, the air inside the tombs was incredibly humid (and dank!) so I can imagine it stripping the paint in short order. And this is off season...

Moses visits the Valley of the Kings

Note the pyramid like mountain in the background of the VoK. You never stray too far from your first love...

From the VoK we headed to the Deir el-Bahri, (the link has better pics than I do) a giant temple set up against the nearby mountains. Multi-storied and richly decorated, this was the great monument by the only female to rule ancient Egypt. Her imagine was later obliterated from the scene by a scornful follow-up, but he couldn't erase all the depicted deeds painted on the temple walls. It's darn impressive, especially from a distance, but it didn't take too long to explore the whole thing. This is also the sight of the 1997 massacre of many tourists, prompting the security measures now in place. (The same group of thugs would go on to greater fame four years later...)

From the Temple, you have a good view of the green band created by the Nile:

You hold the camera still in 100+ heat

Most amazing to me are the fact that many of the original painting remain intact and colorful. Yea, but it's a dry heat, so it's easier to imagine the place in full splendor.

Early Egyptian Toilet Ad

This shows the Egyptian depiction of the night sky, with all the stars shining:

Insurance image proving the upstairs toilet leaked

Some of the better preserved statues inside the temple:

Sadly, Coptic squatters removed Lisa Lopez's condom eye

Both places and more comprise the entire area known as the Theban Necropolis. There were many many tombs up amongst the hills.

...From a Hole in the Ground

The most annoying bit of all this were the locals trying to make a fast buck by 'helping' you any way they could: fanning you, pointing out the obvious ('better color here!'; 'ramses, ramses, osiris...') jumping into your pictures, posing as mummies etc. I tried to confuse them by switching from English, Spanish & German every sentence. Nothing slows them down, so you just have to ignore them and do things on your own time.

On the way out, we stopped by the twin collossi of Memmon that used to guard a temple that Ramses I built. (Note: don't build things you want to last forever in a flood plain. Especially one that floods every year). Lots of legends have grown up around the statues across the years, and Greeks and Romans have their own stories regarding them, which is why they are named the way the are.

Hrm...I've already used toilet twice...

From the VoK, we took a boat across the Nile to my hotel, where I got a much needed nap-break (still on the jet lag thing...). That evening we went to the Temple of Karnak Sound and Light Show. Maybe it's good for a campy laugh or two, but it lasts a bit too long. It begins with trumpet heralds and rolling drum build-ups then moves into plucked harp music. Lights shine on various statues and columns and overacted voices read pretenious poetry ("across the Nile, to the city of the dead, where the Beyond Begins!"). Most Ninetendo 64 games have better effects. In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a prog rock album from the 70s. All that was missing was a guy in a cape playing two keyboards at once.

Tomorrow we're going back to Karnak, for which I'm really glad. The columns, statues and obelisks all look pretty impressive, so I can't wait to see them in daylight.

I Was Dining by the Nile....

What a day, what a day, what a day. Today a lot of hard work by a lot of people paid off, and none too soon. For me, the day involved a meeting with the Commanding Officer, a talk to the scientific crowd and more personal chats with selected scientists. My mantra throughout these meetings was to let our lab be the screening stage for new diagnostics, that when we came with something, to have faith that we'd done our homework and take our assays into the field with confidence. Without today's exciting results, I can imagine those words looking a little hollow. Oh sure, the science was sound and we'd done all the testing we could do, but the cat ain't dead til you open the box, as my pal Schrody would say. Here's a note to you tech-taskmasters: 1 prayed-for positive trumps 50 predicted negatives any day. Any time techs are excited about an assay, you know you're on to something good.

The new virology leaders here are Ce & Ca, a husband wife team from Argentina. Ce runs the lab whilst Ca does a lot of migratory bird collections. Ce has one of those infectious personalities that everyone ends up being drawn to: everyone on the compound waves, smiles and says hi to her, the ground crew bring her flowers etc. She's been a real treat to work with the last few days. This evening, after all the work and meetings were done, she and Ca took us to the Grand Cafe in downtown Cairo to have dinner by the Nile (Ca has mastered the Cairo driving rules in record time). It was awesome to finally get a good look at the city. We drove past the Citadel, the City of the Dead and through the nicely watered and expensive living section called Maadi. There we dined at the Grand Cafe and watched the sky slowly fade to dark as fishing boats and sailboas swung by. Despite the fact that I have meetings both tomorrow and Monday. I declared work-time officially over and ordered a nice big ice cream. Yum, nothing like ice cream to take the heat off whilst sitting by the Nile.

Mars' Observed Rules of Driving In Cairo

1) There are many road signs, lane markings, traffic signals and various other flashing lights and objects d'guidance that will try and distract you. Do not let them, focus instead on moving forward at all times.

2) There will be many confused pedestrians (CPs) in the middle of the street that need guidance to move to the other side. Try to gently nudge them in the right direction. Much like a sheep-hearding dog might nip at their heels, a small tap will help their motivation. Bonus points for using English spin.

3) When the police officer turns his back to you, it is his way of saying "it's OK to go" even if he just told you to stop. Do so as rapidly as possible. Remember, body language is more important than verbal cues, so ignore his cries. NOTE: Under no circumstances should a PO be mistaken for a CP. You've been warned.

4) Prior to merging onto another car, give two short horn blasts as a signal. Do not bother using your signal (see rule #1). The spaced sound effect will allow the echolocation system of the other drivers to properly calculate your incoming trajectory and adjust accordingly and simultaneously curse you properly. (thanks Doug!)

5) By the laws of physics, any car more than 20 yards away has absolutely no chance of hitting you when you pull out in front of it, regardless of it's velocity. Go ahead and zip on out.

6) If your car dies, move it under the overpass. The sand will soon cover it. A new car will be along shortly, just like in Spy Hunter.

Mars Rules for Riding

1) Pray. You might want to try Allah since your on his turf.
2) Always look straight ahead, especially when merging into oncoming traffic.
3) Keep score and cheer your driver when he helps a CP cross the street. One loud yell will not be confused as a merge signal.

Just for Fun: Anytime you see 5 cars abreast in three supposed lanes yell "punch bug!" and slug the nearest person to you. Explain before hand the rules to any Afghani visitors that may be riding along with you.

Kairo Arrival

That's the view from my hotel window at dawn (well you would see it, except that $14 worth of internet doesn't get you uploading tme...) . Yup. Dusty dirty and sandy. It smells like burnt rubber. For the flight from Frankfurt, I was seated in the middle section, which was nice for stretching, but not for viewing. My first good look at the city came as my driver took me to my hotel...I had been trying to imagine what was I was in for, a cross between Mexico City and Los Angeles if the guidebooks were to be believed. My first impression was Beijing, where the modern day gleams near where the dishelved past decays. Everything looks like it's waiting for the final touch, for that stack of bricks and debris nearby to finally be added on. Or like it's been eroded away, like some more famous edifices around here...

Things have been going very smoothly, all thanks to the hospitality team from NAMRU3. We're staying in a fabulously swank hotel next to the biggest, most bustling mall I've ever seen, with a driver to take us hither and there. If it sounds a little sanitized, it is. We're in Heliopolis, which is sadly somewhat removed from downtown. The new metro line hasn't been completed yet either, which limits excursion options. I may just have to be accept a more touristy trip this time around.

oh, and everyone knows I'm a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes, so this place is something else. A paraphrased Sugar Hill Gang raps around in my head all day:

Damn sly girl
I'm in love wichyou
that Cleopatra legend
Musta been true

There's no mistaking why the Egyptians were so fascinated with the eyes.

oh, and my nose feels right at home.

Off to Egypt

I'm heading to Cairo to meet up with some fellow demi-gods. We'll probably spend the whole night complaining about this upstart Monogod fellow. Kids today. Anyhoo, I hope I can post from Egypt, we'll see.

The above is a random street scene from TO. What's a guy in a bag got to do to get some attention?