Mars' Observed Rules of Driving In Cairo

1) There are many road signs, lane markings, traffic signals and various other flashing lights and objects d'guidance that will try and distract you. Do not let them, focus instead on moving forward at all times.

2) There will be many confused pedestrians (CPs) in the middle of the street that need guidance to move to the other side. Try to gently nudge them in the right direction. Much like a sheep-hearding dog might nip at their heels, a small tap will help their motivation. Bonus points for using English spin.

3) When the police officer turns his back to you, it is his way of saying "it's OK to go" even if he just told you to stop. Do so as rapidly as possible. Remember, body language is more important than verbal cues, so ignore his cries. NOTE: Under no circumstances should a PO be mistaken for a CP. You've been warned.

4) Prior to merging onto another car, give two short horn blasts as a signal. Do not bother using your signal (see rule #1). The spaced sound effect will allow the echolocation system of the other drivers to properly calculate your incoming trajectory and adjust accordingly and simultaneously curse you properly. (thanks Doug!)

5) By the laws of physics, any car more than 20 yards away has absolutely no chance of hitting you when you pull out in front of it, regardless of it's velocity. Go ahead and zip on out.

6) If your car dies, move it under the overpass. The sand will soon cover it. A new car will be along shortly, just like in Spy Hunter.

Mars Rules for Riding

1) Pray. You might want to try Allah since your on his turf.
2) Always look straight ahead, especially when merging into oncoming traffic.
3) Keep score and cheer your driver when he helps a CP cross the street. One loud yell will not be confused as a merge signal.

Just for Fun: Anytime you see 5 cars abreast in three supposed lanes yell "punch bug!" and slug the nearest person to you. Explain before hand the rules to any Afghani visitors that may be riding along with you.