Musings of the Wandering War God

2009-02-22T20:58:00.000-08:00

Back to the Beach

I'm home again, as worn out as the batteries in my phone and camera. I'll fill in the last few days this week, as we've been w/o the google tubes for the past few days. In the meantime, here's a few rules for touring Espana:

1) Get out of Madrid ASAP. Hit the Prado and the Palace in one day, then move on. It just doesn't have the charm and scenic setting of the outlying cities. Yea, you can party all night, but if that's really what you're after, go to Ibiza. It's also cheaper in many of the surrounding areas.

2) They're not kidding about the wacky times in Spain. Check 'em carefully, or it will probably be closed when you show up. In general, there is a 2 hour morning slot, and a 3-4 hour afternoon slot when any historical feature will be open. Other than that, cerrado.

3) If you can survive on moderate drinking and light eating, you can just order some beers for lunch. Doing this allows you to eat before 2PM. If you have two drinkers with you, stagger the orders for more tapas. Shop around for the best deals.

Buenas Noches!

2009-02-18T13:58:00.000-08:00

Madrid: Day 3
Heaven and Hell

Today was a blur of churches and bars, with the ratio of Church/Bar being close to 2 or so. It all works out given multiple drinks at the bars. The main cathedral beside el Palacio Real was closed, but we did manage to enter the crypts, which were interesting in their own way. I pondered how much one would have to donate to a church before they would go so far as to bury you in the building underneath the feet of the other worshippers. But hey, somethings are worth any price right? And they had a nice statue of Pope John Paul out front.

Rock da beat PJ!

We also made it to the Big Church of San Francisco, which is notable for having one of the largest domes in Europe, and the Capilla de San Isidro (I like the SoCal spelling better). The latter still bore some of the scars from an anarchist bombing prior to WWII. We also tried attending a museum containing many maps of Madrid over various time points, but it was sadly under construction (get ready for repeats of that phrase). To counter balance all the church time, we went to view the only statue to Satan in all of Europe, found in Madrid's main park. He's up at the top of this post.

The touring of the day ended at El Prado, the Spanish National Museum of Art. Now I was pretty excited as they had been advertising a special section of Francis Bacon. Only it didn't turn to be the nerdy-cool Sir Francis Bacon, but an artist by the same name. However, his art was great stuff (check out his screaming Pope) and well worth some time pondering. The rest of the Prado...I could go without most of it. There were some pictures by Bosch that are classics, as well as some great stuff by Goya, but other than that it was lots of mundane paintings that didn't do much for me. Quoth the Jackass "Europe's primere museum of art that I don't like." Yowch.

We ended the day at La Finca de Susana, a restuarant the Rough Guide said we should run to. It was rather posh for a supposedly cheap-end eatery and seemed to be frequented by locals and tourists alike. I was caught off guard by my chilly vegtables, having been described as oven-roasted I rather expected them to be, well, warm not gezpacho style. The pollo ratatouille was rather good and JA had to guard against an elderly woman's advances on his calamari. Yum.

I should mention that Madrid is currently having a Cow Parade, in which various artists get to dress up cows in creative ways of their choosings. This one in particular caught my eye, as fiery war-gods can require ice cold women to withstand our high-temp touch. Still, I wasn't quite sure about the coloration of this one in particular, but luckily the artist was nearby as I was snapping fotos and I got to ask a few questions his way.

When I asked about the color, he responded in his half-english, half-artist sort of way: "Why the blua? Well zee colors, they are deeferent things non? Love iz red, like the fiery blood, but sin, de sin of dezire iz dee blue-ah. If you go to embrace her she would melt, no? Dis color weel then come to you. She will cover you wiff sin."
Such is my life dear reader.

Madrid: Day 2

2009-02-17T14:26:00.000-08:00

We started the day at the Palacio Real de Madrid, used by the Spanish Monarchy up until the beginning of the 20th century. The palace is essentially one large square building, with the inside being taken up by a large courtyard. The most impressive thing to me was the Royal Armory. I’m sure I made D&D jokes here the first time around (“Excuse me, do you have any Vorpal weapons?”). This time was al WoW (“Have any of these swords received the Crusader enchantment?”). Yup 23 years of dorkdom ladies. The workmanship on some of the crafted armor and weapons was truly impressive. The armor suits were set up on purple-velvet mannequins and realistically posed to induce nightmares (especially the smaller suits for the King’s children). I felt bad for the horses that had to bear not only a plate-wearing knight, but their own heavy armor into battle. The royal pharmacy was impressive mostly by the amount of material they had on hand (“Where do they keep their MSDSs?” mused JA). Most of the Palace itself wasn’t particularly exciting either, but there were a couple of rooms that were very impressive: One in which the entire surface had been covered in porcelain and another in which much of the room had been covered in carved marble.

Being as it was around noon, we next tried to score some lunch, and found out that lunch is around 1:30 in Spain. To pass the time, we decided to have a few beers and made a wonderful discovery about Madrid: for every round of beer you buy, you get some free tapas. The guide book had suggested that this was an outdated tradition, so we were quite happy to find it still active. To be scientific, we tested the tradition at several cervezerias, all of which brought us small snacks with each round.

We ended the day by heading toward the Botanical Gardens. Not exactly the right time of year to go, but the sections in hot-houses were well-tended. The cactus section in particular had some interesting specimens. Being a botanical garden out of season, it makes sense that it is the place you want to have an exhibit on Shackleton’s expedition to the South Pole. *cough* The exhibit was rather interesting with most of the photographs taken by the team’s official archivist on display, including some rare color transparencies.

Of course the perfect ending of the day was some more doner kabobs. That and the cookies we found called “Filipinos”. Ahhh, colonialism, what fun you've caused.

Atocha Rail Station

Madrid: Day One

2009-02-16T12:27:00.001-08:00

We arrive in Madrid on schedule (7AM) despite American Airlines best attempt to throw us off by not balancing the baggage at the outset. Jackass (JA) jokes about designating his own smoking zone, since he barely had time to power-puff down a cigarette between connections at JFK. I kinda hope he does so I can put the recent fire-safety training I had into action by squirting him with the Class ABC fire extinguisher I see hanging on the wall. As it was, we dutifully trudged through customs (“Why do we have to get costumes in Spain?” I overheard a child ask.) and onto the Metro. We arrive at our hotel around 9AM hoping to drop off some luggage. We’re informed that we can occupy the room at that time, if we so desire. This sounds like a good thing, but in situations like this it is far too easy to lose the day to what is supposed to be a quick nap. Hoping to prevent jet lag by synchronizing to local time, we drop off the bags and immediately head back to the Metro and try to stay awake until evening.

On Sundays in Madrid, most of the museums are free. We head to the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia, as it’s the one with the earliest opening time. The Reina Sofia focuses on 20th and 21st century art, having a large collection of early Cubist and Surrealist works, as well as some more modern Avant-garde. I’m surprised both JA and I agree that some of the more interesting paintings are done by Jose Gutierrez Solona. His work is dark, both in nature and in practice, many of the paintings seemingly devoid of any thing brighter than brown.

Of course Dali’s Little Cinders fascinates me for a good five minutes. In my mind, very few surrealists stand anywhere near Dali. Mostly because their paintings aren’t REALISTIC as their genre name would imply. (Miro: WTF?) That rear-end near the bottom central of the painting looks like it would be warm to the touch when you see the painting in person.

The powerhouse piece of the MNCARS is Picasso’s Guernica, a very large nearly twin-tone painting done in response to the air-raids upon the town of the same name in the early part of the 20th century.

I actually found a kindred spirit there in the exhibition that focused n Paul Thek. Described as an artist’s artist, he seemed rather close to a merry prankster to me. I wished I could have flipped through his notebooks to see more of his random thoughts (ex: “If you are philosophically unable to raise to action, drop your pants for Jesus!”). His art jumped all over the place over his career span, from really beautiful “Feather Paintings” and word-filled animals, humorous and colorful paintings to his recreation of his Pharoaic burial. This also ended up inspiring some of his somewhat sickening Meat Pieces. (Unfortunately I can't find a good link to the majority of his material, so you'll have to poke around on your own dear reader.)

In the end, his prankster prodding and poking at the establishment seemed to weigh him down: “I don’t enjoy doing ‘bad art’ but people still don’t get it, they don’t get what evils society has. So I keep dong it….but it makes me feel bad as well.” I feel you Paul, that same sadness hit me after every penis drawing I did in high school. They just didn’t get it then either.

Unfortunately, for lunch we had Mr. Surly European as our waiter. We didn’t get olives, like the other folks. We didn’t get the check when we asked. Heck, we didn’t even get napkins with our food. Mr. Surly didn’t get much of a tip. This really made me question why we bothered coming to Europe, when South and Central America are much closer, the folks much friendlier and the cultural art etc. more interesting (at least to me). Nothing like some snobby nob like to put a damper on your day. We brushed through the Standard Issue Archeological Museum and caught the Metro back near the hotel, pretty exhausted and a little disappointed.

The day was saved by some Young Turks, who made the best dang Doner Kabob’s south of Alemania. It’s amazing how much good food and beer can lift your spirits. I expect to return there often before leaving Madrid.

2007-12-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

Irony Bites

Apologies for the lack of updates dear reader, but there are several issues: 1) Blogger assumed my literacy in Thai script based on my location. I must have hit 'save as draft' vs. post for the previous missive. 2) The interweb is $20 a day here, so I haven't had it up and running at all times. During the conference days, I was actually pretty exhausted by the time things finished up, especially given the time difference, so it wasn't unusual to zonk out around 8PM (and wake at 4AM) after dinner.

The conference was good and I think we represented ourselves well. The end of the last day was given to 'other topics' and included an excellent talk of the current status of HIV vaccines, many of which are in study here in Thailand.

One particularly brave speaker saddled up to the podium with a mother of a presentation. Whenever someone gets their talk freshly loaded, you can sneak a peek at the lower corner of PowerPoint to see how many slides their talk contains. This whopper had 84! Rule of thumb 1 minute per slide and yer looking at an hour and half talk in a supposed 45 minute time frame. Extras at the end? I mused. I decided to keep count during her talk. I gave up around 40 or so, as it was clear she was going to hit every one of them. Not only that, but her slides were dense as iron ore. Witness:

"In Depth" vols. 1-3 available separately

Please note that 'briefly' in the title. Overwhelming to say the least, which is really too bad because the talk was informative and well done otherwise. The sheer volume of info turned many people off about halfway through (remember folks, they are only going to remember 3-5 things from your whole talk, not per slide). She also made the crucial error of running over into lunch. Nothing will turn an audience on you quicker than that.

Now back to ME. I'm sick as a dog. Really. I felt a little funny during the Friday session and decided just to order room service and stay in for the night. Ya know, busy week and all, sleep up for the big day Saturday. Upon waking, it was clear something was wrong. I had the classic case of what's known in G-town as "The Punies". Joint aches, fever, headache and the general feeling of having been run over by a tuk-tuk carrying a few obese Americans. I tried to sleep it off with the help of some Excedrin. I didn't feel much better around noon, but I forced myself up and about to try and go see the weekend market. By the time I got to the street it was clear this was a mistake and I was going nowhere far. I spied a 7-11 across the street and decided to stock up on a few provisions. It took my addled brain a few moments to realize that there never was going to be a traffic light signal to let me cross and that I had to climb the walkway over head to reach the other side. (Stairs, why did it have to be stairs?) I was pretty woozy going over, but I was helped across by the soothing voice of a street performer that lured me like a siren. Water, salt and sugar objects were purchased and I retreated to my room. I tried to catch a few minutes of sleep between the frequent visits to the bathroom. Various audio tracks would annoyingly lock on repeat in my head ("Children of the Damned" by Iron Maiden, the 'Trogdorr" song by Strong Bad and "Panic in the Streets" by my old austin roommates new band. Good job guys, yer in their with some classics.) I drifted off thinking about all the talks I'd heard the last few days and wondering what endemic bug I'd been bitten by. Malaria? Dengue Fever? Yellow Fever? The dreaded H5? more likely food poisoning or dysentery. (Not the type of infection some of you wags were predicting for me on this trip, sorry to disappoint.) I dreamt the army had me quarantined in their infectious disease lab, while the Navy held 4 similar cases themselves. When I awoke, my fever had broken. Being all sweaty was an overall improvement to the way I had been feeling, so I went back to sleep hoping I'd awake feeling much better and be able to make it to the market on Sunday.

Wishful thinking. The next thing I remember is starting to shiver. Despite wrapping up in the fetal position, things only got worse. Now I had turned the room temp down a bit when I had the fever, but it wasn't that cold. Walking to the bathroom was incredibly difficult as I stumbled and my whole body shook like a palsy patient. By the time the shower water heated up, my jaw muscles were in agony from overuse. The shivering would return the instant I shut the water off. Not fun folks, not fun.

It hasn't been without typical Mars Moments. I went to set my room service tray outside my door. There wasn't a real space for it, but there was a big area across the hall where it fit nicely. The ka-thunk I heard behind me was my door slamming shut, leaving me sans shoes, underwear and key in the hallway. So barefoot, holding my pants up with one hand and with a head of hair that can only come from two days of intermittent sleep and showers (or being a Grateful Dead fan) I headed downstairs amongst the rest of the elegant guests to request my second spare key. Luckily I did have my passport. Nowhere near as funny as a similar story that happened to my friend Doren that involves not one but TWO overflowing toilets. You'll have to get her to tell that one, she does a wonderful job.

My Dear Diary: Jackpot moment came when I found some Immodium AD that Coondog had given me in Guatemala. It hasn't lived up to the AD part yet, but it has soothed the searing pain pulses that were snaking through my intestines. Always appreciate life's small victories.

In less than 24 hours I'll be at the airport for the trip home. Hopefully my situation will improve a good deal more by then. I'm keeping the option open to stay the night in tokyo. If the 5 hour flight sucks, then I'm not doing the 11 hour one, although its considerably less crowded. (i.e. no fighting for the lavatory)

The pic at the top is the father of Thai medicine whom I'm making a special paean to in hopes of a speedy recovery.

2007-12-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

Thailand

That's the obligatory shot from my hotel window, looking down at the Chao Praya river.

We arrived for the conference a day early. Despite the jet lag, CO, DJ & myself set off for some adventures. The first adventure was a skiff tour of one of the canal systems that make up 'old Bangkok'. We power-boated past old homes built over the river, some of which had better looking supports than others. Some were run down, but some looked like ideal dwellings. Of course we had to stop for some touristy attractions: a floating 'market', a snake handling show and a chance to create a fish feeding frenzy. Folks, when I say we power boated, I'm not kidding, our little boat could flat out go. Witness the engine:

Suck it Nascar!

At the end of the tour, we were dropped off nearby the Royal Palace and Wat Pho. Wat Pho is the home of the Reclining Buddha as well as the national university for Thai Massage. After DJ's description of the pummeling that is Thai massage, the rest of us decided to pass on the elegant torture. Be sure and check out the picture of the Buddha's feet on the link.

Horizental

My timing for the trip couldn't have been worse: We missed the Loy Krathong festival by just a few days (there were still quite a few Krathongs lingering in the river) and I leave on Tuesday, the King's 70th Birthday. They sure do love their king here in Bangkok. Everyone is supposed to wear yellow in celebration and there's going to be a big ol' parade for him. The upside to this was that Wat Pho and the palace were getting a royal polish. The temples at Wat Pho were nothing short of spectacular. The glass glinted, the gold shone like the sun and the colors were brilliant. One always wonders what things looked like in their heyday, before the ravages of time dull the sparkle. Here I got to see it. I tried to take some pictures, but I don't think they do the majesty of it justice.

We ended the day at a BBQ around the corner from our hotel. The main attraction was the Singha beer sign out front, but it turned out the food was the kicker. Each table had a central slot into which could be dropped a metal pot containing hot coals and ceramic slabs. On top of this you placed a piece of metal shaped like a sombrero to grill some meats on. The outer rim of the covering held water for cooking veggies and noodles and slowly turned into a nice soup on its own. Our waiter could tell we were clueless, so he helped us get started, but soon we were like old pros. Throw in some hot sauce and we were delighted. The total price was just a bit more than what they were going to charge us for three beers back at the hotel. And this was with 6 beers.

Public Health Nightmare

2007-10-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

The Fire God Is An Angry One

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and wishes from everyone. I'm fine, I'm down by the beach, and not Solona Beach, which actually does have a chance of getting burned. My main burdens have been breathing smoke and ashes and trying to keep in touch with our employees. Looks like the last fire was a mere warning (4 yours already??? really?). I haven't heard much about what is going on south of the border but I can imagine it could be much much worse than things are here. I mean it's almost comical to hear about 12 homes being burnt and the estimated damages are over 200 million. Almost. Having gone through a small one, I wouldn't wish a fire on anyone. I hope everyone comes out OK.

That's the view from the top of Pt. Loma looking down towards downtown San Diego and the smoke rolling in from the fires this morning. Fun Fun. Later on, the sun looked like an angry fireball heading our way.

(Smoke) Shades of Cairo

2007-09-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

Take a picture here,
Take a souvenir…

Time to skedaddle. I really feel like I could spend another week here without seeing everything there is to see. And that’s not even counting Aswan, Abydos, Sharm El Sheik, a nice desert jeep run etc. etc. I wish I could collect cultures the way I collect CDs and I wish languages would imprint themselves in my brain the way crappy pop songs do. I guess I’ll just have to keep traveling.

I know I’m skipping a bit here, but do I really have to tell you how awesome the Pyramids were? They’re the only surviving wonder of the ancient world. The museum? I could have spent all day there just looking at their collection of sarcophagi. The treasures of Tut only make me wonder what we missed from the other 64 tombs. (Wonder if I can start a bidness doing modern day Pharaoh style funerals. The BLING burial! Pimp your corpse!)

Anyhoo, it was a hot day walking around, but that was fine with me as any extra water would have been ready to escape my body anyway (see previous post). The funniest moment was a tourist that in reaction to the touts trying to get him to ‘kiss the sphinx’ had me take a shot so that it looks like his hand is on her ass. Try explaining that to an 11 yr old girl who just wants your money for the kiss shot.

We have a lot of work to do with NAMRU3, so hopefully I’ll be back soon. Right now I’m ready for home. I’m ready for an ice cold Dr. Pepper and a warm carne asado burrito. I’m planning on one big tall Franciskaner Hefewiezen in Frankfurt too. Yum. Maybe two…Oh and football, I’ll take that over soccer any day.

Cheers,
Mars

2007-09-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

BWAAA HAAAA HAHAA HAHHA HAHAH HAAA!!!!!!!

In case you missed it, the School Up North pulled a boner of epic proportions in the college football world yesterday.

Simple unbelievable. Good thing Chad Henne (NSFW), Mike Hart and a couple of others came back to win the national championship.

I know, I know, college football on a travel blog, but I did listen to the Buckeye's take care of bidness with Youngstown State via the bunch of tubes sometimes called the interwebs. And this is just monumental, not just for TSUN but for the entire Big10. But it's Michigan losing to the University that brought us "Hot Hot Hot". It's too hard not to laugh.

This would be my reaction as well. Priceless.

Hey Jackass, consider this: Mike can never make fun of a team from North Carolina again.

Go Bucks!

2007-09-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

Karnak by Day, the Luxor Temple and the Damn Dam

It's very difficult to upload images here, so you’ll just have to google the sites for yourself and take my word that Karnak was really freakin’ awesome in the daylight. Staggeringly large and slowly added to over hundreds of years by every new ruler that came along, Karnak deserved more time than I could spare for it. Like many holy places, Karnak uses gigantic columns to stress to mortals their stature compared to the gods. Karnak has an amazing array of 134 columns that dwarf all comers. All are decorated from lotus-leaf top to bottom with hieroglyphs, some of which have escaped the direct sunlight and are colored with bright shades of yellow, blue, white and red. Gorgeous.

Beware of Sleestaks

The Luxor Temple is very similar, although much smaller. The added attractions here are some well-preserved statues guarding the gate and a giant obelisk. An unused mosque sits 20 feet above the lower sites of the temple, as that’s where the sand had filled to when the Turks arrived. It shares the double-sided gate style of Karnak, which represents the mountains surrounding a narrow valley, a massive representation of the known world of the Egyptians of the time.

Since I can’t show you pictures, I’ll tell you of my guide on these journeys, who was quite an interesting fellow to travel with. Over the course of a couple of days, he opened up a bit regarding his feelings of modern Egypt, the current archeological work, and his big bringer of worry, the High Dam at Aswan.

Tyr had spent the last 12 years working in the archeological digs around Luxor. He showed me tombs that he had personally helped seal up, and sites where former houses had been blasted away by the Egyptian government. It seems that folks that had taking to dwelling over the Tombs of the Nobles in the Theben Necropolis had also taken to looting a bit as interest in Egyptian artifacts grew around the world (Space is limited for housing, as farmland is crucial. Thus, Egyptians often build over previously allotted land. See Cairo’s “City of the Dead”). These villagers would secretly dig underneath their homes at night, or in the nearby hills, and hope to find a rich tomb where they might break the finger off a mummy or carry away an urn to sell on the black market. They quickly learned to slowly sell these artifacts off, lest their sudden wealth reveal their clandestine treasure huntng. Not everything goes as planned however as Tyr told of occasionally finding bodies that had missed the mummification process: cave-ins, foul air and other mishaps often proved fatal for the unlucky villager. In one infamous case, an entire house collapsed into a sundered tomb. In the end, the Egyptian Antiquities Council convinced the government to bulldoze the village and provide new shelter elsewhere.

Tyr explained the duality of the dam project: control of the water flow had tripled crop collections (year round harvests) and provided much needed electricity for the country. However, since the silt-bearing slough from the heavy rains no longer fertilizes the fields, chemical methods have been employed to conjure up the crops. This has resulted in a steady increase in various cancers for the Nile-dwellers (unverified data, personal communication 2007). To make matters worse, several factories now dump waste into the Nile, as opposed to the age-old method of desert-burial. It is true that malaria and other infectious diseases have been on the rise since the dam was commissioned, and that the Nile delta is now slowly eroding away, where once it grew four meters a year (the silt is currently being stockpiled behind the dam).

But the most arresting alarm for a man comes when you punch him square in the pants: Tyr’s young nephews tell him of their need for Viagra to bring the latest generation into the world. “Can you believe? Young men! All the time: Viagra, Viagra, Viagra!” Which of course leads to (again, unverified) an increase in heart and circulatory problems. In Tyr’s words: “My grandfather would go to the mountain there, to get the stone to sow into the fields, a natural fertilizer. All day, he would follow the donkey, and you know, follow the donkey closely. You see, we don’t allow our daughters to act the way you do in America. But for him, it was no problem to stand tall behind the donkey all day, he was a strong man. But now, only the Viagra brings the wife relief. I hear my nephew’s wife calling like a train station: ‘Ride me! Ride me! Please won’t you ride me?’ We are being slowly poisoned.” (Yea, you know you’re bonding when the ‘Gramps was a donkey duffer’ stories come out.) As Tyr puts it, the people of Egypt don’t feel their left hand in hot water, because the right one is in cold. Maybe he said hand. It could have been testicle. Regardless, Tyr feels frustrated by the current conditions and hopes to raise awareness to change the situation, which he admits will be a difficult struggle.

2007-09-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

And I’m the new chicken, clucking open hearts and ears…

Ever since professional eater went wild on with the comments I’ve felt obligated to post a bit about food from my travels. Sadly, the food in Egypt hasn’t been worth blogging home about. That may be partially due to my limited mobility in Heliopolis, although the Grand Café on the Nile was merely adequate, ice-cream non-withstanding. In Cairo, my favorite spot was the NAMRU3 café. Now what does that tell you? Don’t get me wrong they have a fine selection of schwarmas and lamb and on Wednesday they serve an awesome Egyptian mix of pasta, sauce and spices called Kashari (highly recommended by the Egyptian techs and now me). But beyond that, the hotel food has been a let down (it’s a 5-star place, it should be at least decent) and I’ve resorted to raiding various fast-food joints within the adjacent City Stars mall. Last night I ate at Sbarros. In Cairo. Boo me. Twice when my jet lag was still in high gear, I had nothing for dinner but a Coke and some cashews I’d gotten from a local market. (pretty perfect really: sugar AND salt)

Things turned around a bit in Luxor, as the hotel there did have a pretty good buffet, including some Egyptian main courses, salads and desert. It was tasty enough that I went back for thirds, partially because I knew what awaited me in Cairo. The breakfast there was more euro-trad, but still well done.

I also broke down and went to the McDonald’s one night. No, I wasn’t craving for some good ol’ US of A pseudo-meal, I had to get the McRoyal. I mean, a Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but the Royale with cheese…had to be done. But it leads me to the next point:

The reliable Rough Guide warns me that I’m going to get the squirts here, and basically says be prepared and deal with it. Right again Rough guide! At least it’s not the Mexico City street-taco induced ‘OMFG werz the br plz kthx bye’ type of searing distress, but it’s not exactly enjoyable either. It’s like changing a diaper, it’s not that difficult to do, but in the end you still have poop on you. Nothing seems to correct it either, like Freedom Fries from Mickey-D’s. That being the case, tonight I went for the asian eatery in the mall. Turned out to actually be Indian, so I went with the really spicy Chicken Marsala. At least it tasted good.

2007-08-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Living in Luxor(y)

After a brief cabbie argument and a brief one hour flight from Cairo, I arrived in Luxor, formerly Thebes, early yesterday morning. Since it was still early, we headed straight to the Valley of the Kings, where the Pharaohs and their favorite queens, consorts and courtesans stored their mortal remains (and earthly treasures) away from the tomb raiders of Cairo, so that instead they could be plundered by tomb-raiders of Thebes. You know, spread the wealth around a bit.

(The opening shot, although out of chronological order, shows you the view from my hotel. Not bad for $60 a night eh?)

There's no doubt in my mind I could spend all day poking into all 65+ tombs here. Although each one follows a similar patterns (each departed soul must past through 4 serpent-guarded gates) each one is unique in build and detailed decoration. As it was, I only had time for three: the Tomb of Rames IX, Ramses IV and Ramses VI. You can find detailed descriptions and maps for all the tombs here. It was easy to see why the limited access, the air inside the tombs was incredibly humid (and dank!) so I can imagine it stripping the paint in short order. And this is off season...

Moses visits the Valley of the Kings

Note the pyramid like mountain in the background of the VoK. You never stray too far from your first love...

From the VoK we headed to the Deir el-Bahri, (the link has better pics than I do) a giant temple set up against the nearby mountains. Multi-storied and richly decorated, this was the great monument by the only female to rule ancient Egypt. Her imagine was later obliterated from the scene by a scornful follow-up, but he couldn't erase all the depicted deeds painted on the temple walls. It's darn impressive, especially from a distance, but it didn't take too long to explore the whole thing. This is also the sight of the 1997 massacre of many tourists, prompting the security measures now in place. (The same group of thugs would go on to greater fame four years later...)

From the Temple, you have a good view of the green band created by the Nile:

You hold the camera still in 100+ heat

Most amazing to me are the fact that many of the original painting remain intact and colorful. Yea, but it's a dry heat, so it's easier to imagine the place in full splendor.

Early Egyptian Toilet Ad

This shows the Egyptian depiction of the night sky, with all the stars shining:

Insurance image proving the upstairs toilet leaked

Some of the better preserved statues inside the temple:

Sadly, Coptic squatters removed Lisa Lopez's condom eye

Both places and more comprise the entire area known as the Theban Necropolis. There were many many tombs up amongst the hills.

...From a Hole in the Ground

The most annoying bit of all this were the locals trying to make a fast buck by 'helping' you any way they could: fanning you, pointing out the obvious ('better color here!'; 'ramses, ramses, osiris...') jumping into your pictures, posing as mummies etc. I tried to confuse them by switching from English, Spanish & German every sentence. Nothing slows them down, so you just have to ignore them and do things on your own time.

On the way out, we stopped by the twin collossi of Memmon that used to guard a temple that Ramses I built. (Note: don't build things you want to last forever in a flood plain. Especially one that floods every year). Lots of legends have grown up around the statues across the years, and Greeks and Romans have their own stories regarding them, which is why they are named the way the are.

Hrm...I've already used toilet twice...

From the VoK, we took a boat across the Nile to my hotel, where I got a much needed nap-break (still on the jet lag thing...). That evening we went to the Temple of Karnak Sound and Light Show. Maybe it's good for a campy laugh or two, but it lasts a bit too long. It begins with trumpet heralds and rolling drum build-ups then moves into plucked harp music. Lights shine on various statues and columns and overacted voices read pretenious poetry ("across the Nile, to the city of the dead, where the Beyond Begins!"). Most Ninetendo 64 games have better effects. In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a prog rock album from the 70s. All that was missing was a guy in a cape playing two keyboards at once.

Tomorrow we're going back to Karnak, for which I'm really glad. The columns, statues and obelisks all look pretty impressive, so I can't wait to see them in daylight.

2007-08-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

I Was Dining by the Nile....

What a day, what a day, what a day. Today a lot of hard work by a lot of people paid off, and none too soon. For me, the day involved a meeting with the Commanding Officer, a talk to the scientific crowd and more personal chats with selected scientists. My mantra throughout these meetings was to let our lab be the screening stage for new diagnostics, that when we came with something, to have faith that we'd done our homework and take our assays into the field with confidence. Without today's exciting results, I can imagine those words looking a little hollow. Oh sure, the science was sound and we'd done all the testing we could do, but the cat ain't dead til you open the box, as my pal Schrody would say. Here's a note to you tech-taskmasters: 1 prayed-for positive trumps 50 predicted negatives any day. Any time techs are excited about an assay, you know you're on to something good.

The new virology leaders here are Ce & Ca, a husband wife team from Argentina. Ce runs the lab whilst Ca does a lot of migratory bird collections. Ce has one of those infectious personalities that everyone ends up being drawn to: everyone on the compound waves, smiles and says hi to her, the ground crew bring her flowers etc. She's been a real treat to work with the last few days. This evening, after all the work and meetings were done, she and Ca took us to the Grand Cafe in downtown Cairo to have dinner by the Nile (Ca has mastered the Cairo driving rules in record time). It was awesome to finally get a good look at the city. We drove past the Citadel, the City of the Dead and through the nicely watered and expensive living section called Maadi. There we dined at the Grand Cafe and watched the sky slowly fade to dark as fishing boats and sailboas swung by. Despite the fact that I have meetings both tomorrow and Monday. I declared work-time officially over and ordered a nice big ice cream. Yum, nothing like ice cream to take the heat off whilst sitting by the Nile.

2007-08-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

Mars' Observed Rules of Driving In Cairo

1) There are many road signs, lane markings, traffic signals and various other flashing lights and objects d'guidance that will try and distract you. Do not let them, focus instead on moving forward at all times.

2) There will be many confused pedestrians (CPs) in the middle of the street that need guidance to move to the other side. Try to gently nudge them in the right direction. Much like a sheep-hearding dog might nip at their heels, a small tap will help their motivation. Bonus points for using English spin.

3) When the police officer turns his back to you, it is his way of saying "it's OK to go" even if he just told you to stop. Do so as rapidly as possible. Remember, body language is more important than verbal cues, so ignore his cries. NOTE: Under no circumstances should a PO be mistaken for a CP. You've been warned.

4) Prior to merging onto another car, give two short horn blasts as a signal. Do not bother using your signal (see rule #1). The spaced sound effect will allow the echolocation system of the other drivers to properly calculate your incoming trajectory and adjust accordingly and simultaneously curse you properly. (thanks Doug!)

5) By the laws of physics, any car more than 20 yards away has absolutely no chance of hitting you when you pull out in front of it, regardless of it's velocity. Go ahead and zip on out.

6) If your car dies, move it under the overpass. The sand will soon cover it. A new car will be along shortly, just like in Spy Hunter.

Mars Rules for Riding

1) Pray. You might want to try Allah since your on his turf.
2) Always look straight ahead, especially when merging into oncoming traffic.
3) Keep score and cheer your driver when he helps a CP cross the street. One loud yell will not be confused as a merge signal.

Just for Fun: Anytime you see 5 cars abreast in three supposed lanes yell "punch bug!" and slug the nearest person to you. Explain before hand the rules to any Afghani visitors that may be riding along with you.

2007-08-28T12:08:00.000-07:00

Kairo Arrival

That's the view from my hotel window at dawn (well you would see it, except that $14 worth of internet doesn't get you uploading tme...) . Yup. Dusty dirty and sandy. It smells like burnt rubber. For the flight from Frankfurt, I was seated in the middle section, which was nice for stretching, but not for viewing. My first good look at the city came as my driver took me to my hotel...I had been trying to imagine what was I was in for, a cross between Mexico City and Los Angeles if the guidebooks were to be believed. My first impression was Beijing, where the modern day gleams near where the dishelved past decays. Everything looks like it's waiting for the final touch, for that stack of bricks and debris nearby to finally be added on. Or like it's been eroded away, like some more famous edifices around here...

Things have been going very smoothly, all thanks to the hospitality team from NAMRU3. We're staying in a fabulously swank hotel next to the biggest, most bustling mall I've ever seen, with a driver to take us hither and there. If it sounds a little sanitized, it is. We're in Heliopolis, which is sadly somewhat removed from downtown. The new metro line hasn't been completed yet either, which limits excursion options. I may just have to be accept a more touristy trip this time around.

oh, and everyone knows I'm a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes, so this place is something else. A paraphrased Sugar Hill Gang raps around in my head all day:

Damn sly girl
I'm in love wichyou
that Cleopatra legend
Musta been true

There's no mistaking why the Egyptians were so fascinated with the eyes.

oh, and my nose feels right at home.

2007-08-25T22:04:00.001-07:00

Off to Egypt

I'm heading to Cairo to meet up with some fellow demi-gods. We'll probably spend the whole night complaining about this upstart Monogod fellow. Kids today. Anyhoo, I hope I can post from Egypt, we'll see.

The above is a random street scene from TO. What's a guy in a bag got to do to get some attention?

2007-08-25T21:58:00.001-07:00

The Limits of Mars

As if the day on the island wasn't enough, AnOs and I headed over and up the CN tower for some pure tourist action. Had to be done, although the lenght of the wait ensured that I'll never do it again. That and the fact that I found out I'm terrified of glass floors that are very high up. I almost passed out when AnOs tried to shove me over onto the glass floor. I spent the rest of the time wiping my clammy hands on the windows and other schmucks stuck in line. Who knew?

All good from behind glass. and a few feet back.

Still, a pretty darn good day, topped off by some cider of course. As AnOs said "and I thought we were going to end up in a farkin' Shoe Museum"

2007-08-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Best. Sport. Ever.

TO View From A Bike

The last day was a gorgeous mid-western sunshine fest so AnOs and I decided to head out to the island in Lake Erie. We rode around the entire thing on some dodgy bikes, had some food and then went to check out some commotion we were hearing. I'm so glad we did. There were some dragon boat races going on, some real D&Ders beating each other up with fake swords, and a local Tug-Of-War competition.

Canada Conquered by D&D Club

Look at All That Tension!

This was a pretty good warm-up, especially since they had world's oldest (and only) tug-of-war fan announcing the whole thing. I've never known anyone to get so excited about tension before, but after reading Savage Love I know anything is possible. The guys above kicked ass and took names all day. They had a very precise and methodical style and could look their boots and hold out all day.

But the main event came at the end of the dragon boat races: The Wife Carrying Competition. Now to make things interesting and ensure all types of folks participated they came up with the best.prize.ever: Your wife's weight in beer to the winner. That's right, 100lbs of beer (easy!) was on the line. It wasn't easy either, you had to run a good distance with your wife on your back, go out into water up to your waist, around the maker and haul ass back ot the starting point. The winner ended up getting darn near 4 cases of beer. I thought they should have given a consolation prize to the women who spanked her husband's ass like a mule the whole time, she was the highlight. Pure Comedy Gold Baby!

The 'Over the Shoulder Grab 'n' Go' Method

The 'Dunk Your Woman and Slap Her Face Against Your Ass' Method

I'll have the videos up on You tube soon.

2007-08-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

Best Swag Ever

Being an influenza/public health meeting, one of the freebies that came with the ever present meeting back-pack was a tube of Lysol, which can supposedly kill the flu virus. It came in real handy as there was a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament going on at the same time. Although not as bad as a full blown Magic: The Unwashed or D&D convention would have been, there were still a few ripe ones in the bunch.

Free Gamer Bane!!!

2007-08-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

Later on that night...

After leaving the Distillery district, we headed out with a full crew. We tried going to some new bars, partially to get food, and partially to get some more exposure. Sadly, we ended up getting surrounded by some not so upstanding Germans at a bar with a totally kick ass beer selection (go figure). In a matter of minutes, they had managed to Eik into a corner (although, not sure she totally minded, but the male chaperones were on edge) and hand away $30 of Kampai's hard earned cash. I stepped to prevent some violence and recovered the cash. The bartender said he thought it was a tip. Right...

Oh, some of you were wondering where AnOs was in the last shot:

AnOs Mounted

Go ahead and make up your own mexican/border joke. He said it's ok.

Anyhoo, we exited and prepared for the last day of the conference. The ending session looked like this:

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

This after the opening session had to find a room to video broadcast the opening remarks as the 1500 seat auditorium was full. This is why you don't want to give a talk during the last session. As I told several conference noob: it's an endurance test and you have to finish out strong, despite the decreasing amount of sleep and increasing amount of hangover you have each day.

Also, as my friend The Badger knows, whoever collects the most business cards win. I did pretty well:

Ok, so the Hooters Club Card Doesn't Count

2007-08-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer, We Like Beer
--The Asylum Street Spankers
(and Me)

As if taking us to Niagra falls wasn't good enough, the conference organizers decided we needed to blow off a little steam and drink down a few brews. As AnOs said "way ahead of you". Still, not wanting to perpetuate the rumor that our group can be a little anti-social, we hopped onto one of a dozen buses that took us to Toronto's reborn Distillery District. Seems like a lot of towns are rediscovering their forgotten local brew sites and re-imagining them as havens for upscale drinkers who might have a few too many and take home some ritzy art or a Prada handbag that caught their beer-goggled eyes. That being said, the place was a welcoming all brick, sunshine filled plaza where free food and drinks were handed out like candy. The Hawk found some high-brow Sam Adams drink-alike inside the actual bar, but I was pretty happy with my Canadian stand-by Sleeman's. Good stuff. They used to have a billboard in Windsor that said "What American's Take Home in Their Trunk". Damn straight!

Whilst there, we met Eik, resident Army Epidemiologist. Yes she has red hair. Yes, I tried not to stare (staring inversely proportional to BAC). She was a good addition to our crew. i.e. she knew how to have a drink and talk science such that neither is out of hand.

Hawk and Dove

Our crew also involved Wallace from Kenya. Wallace was with a couple of other folks from Africa. One of them was looking a little sickly. As it turned out, he had malaria. Wallace took this along the lines of someone getting your drive-through order wrong: it happens from time to time. However, having malaria at a public health conference is a bit like being the hot chick in the engineering class: everyone wants to talk to you.

The Hawk owns up to a few Hooters visits

Leaving Stylish District in Style

HT To AngiO, whom I stole photos from, since I wasn't bright enough to remember my camera.

2007-07-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

I Am So Proud of Myself

Game, set & match back pain!

Finally! My back pain has ended. I tried two types of painkillers, heat etc. etc. Nothing works like good ol booze. Since TO I've been wanting some cider and the Fox hit the spot. One bent spoon and I'm the only bartender I need.
I'll finish the TO spots this week.
Yum!

2007-06-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

War Rants

Things that are pissing me off:

1) Dorks that take pictures of every slide being shown during a talk. Hey, how about paying attention instead of blocking my view there r tard? Bad enough that they knock you out of the way so they can get 100Mega pixel shots of posters to recreate all the fun at home, but now I have to put up with flashes and fake camera noises whilst I'm trying to follow a presentation? And god forbid the speaker should use a lot of animations. The poor bastards can't keep up.

2) The current US-Canada exchange rate. OK George, this week dollar thing has gone too far. Now I'm not saying we need the glory days of when you could get $1.40 for your greenback dollar in the Great White North, but the usual $1.20 rate would be fine. They were offering 3 cents to the dollar at Niagra falls. Why even bother? 3 cents? Canadians better be buying a lot of our crap for this outrage.

Thing That Cracked Me Up:

Some poor bugger asked a question in million-syllable-per-second psuedo English following a presentation. Despite the rapid rate, the dude took a good minute and half to spit out his query, and was answered only with a hostile-sounding "WHAT?". It was the same tone you might expect if your father found out you were preggers in high-school, or that you had wrecked his car. AnOs and I struggled not to laugh too loud, and would repeat the shout at others all week long. Later on, a more polite speaker would simply point out that he couldn't understand the poor fellow. Anyway, if you're keeping score at home, the correct meeting manner is to reply "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?" and act like his mike isn't working too well. If this fails, simply say "Yes that's a very interesting question, we're working on that right now, so maybe at the next meeting we can answer that."

2007-06-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

The FallsTwas a pretty good thing following the wild Tuesday night, that Odin's Day was only a half day at the conference. The second half was a trip to Niagra Falls. I know what you're thinking, yea it's touristy, but when else you gonna go? Also the trip included a free ride on the Maid of the Mist, which I was looking forward to. As it turned out, the weather was perfect, as you can see. We headed for the boats as soon as we got there, as 1000 people from the conference had signed up. We wanted to beat the rush. Another added bonus, free parkas!

Plastic People, Get to the Boat

Like Viagra with a N, Niagra Has Lots of Flow

Heck we even got a rainbow, and you know what that means. I just learnt that at the Pride festival here this week in TO. Wonder if the Irish knew about that. Oh and, I'm not the diety they are speaking of, I enjoy rainbows for the natural scientific phenonmenon they are. Not that there's anything wrong with the alternate, but I'll stick with the original rainbow connection.

God Buggering Around Again

2007-06-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

We Kinda Use 'Sorry' As Our Hello

The scientific program of the conference began on Monday. AnOs and I found the rest of the NRD-herd, The Hawk and Kampay, and also added AngiO, The Hawk's counterpart from AFIOH. Although we're a true team, we sometimes split up to make sure we had both concurrent sessions covered and to cover our differing interests. The conference schedule is pretty brutal, with only short breaks in between long sessions that run from 8:30 AM to 6PM. The endurance race begins...

Monday night was the first of two poster sessions and the one during which AnOs and The Hawk presented. AnOs managed to ask Nancy Cox whom she was whilst holding a beer in one hand. I figure this cost him the poster contest although he claims he recovered. Nonetheless, his poster was pretty well received and we had all the questions that people asked covered. Go Team!

After the poster session we went to a local pub to have a few pints to round out the evening. It was there that The Hawk saw a poster for Sonic Playground. One look at the lead singer and the Hawk decided we'd be coming back. So after the poster session on Tuesday, we headed back to the same tavern. We also added PosterGirl, whom we'd met at the previous poster session, to our team.

Now I'm the first to say that if you're going out to see a cover band, there's something wrong with the music scene or your priorities, but I have to admit Sonic Playground were enormous fun. Their songs ranged from 70's funk to more modern sounds (negative: they didn't know the Pixies!) but all done well yet not in total copy-cat fashion. Their 10-minute medley of Superstitious/Play That Funky Music/Turn This Mother Out really got the crowd in a good mood. After their warm-up set, they invited audience members to participate:

Oooo-wee-ooo-I-sing-just-like-Rivers-Cuomo

We were at this pub for quite some time and the Strongbow Cider was flowing. In fact, you can monitor the changes in the NRD-Herd with respect to time in this following series, which goes from early evening, to later on:

Could Possibly Still Discuss Science

Able to Discuss Possibility of More Drinks

Unable to discuss much

You can see in the above photo how we're starting to interact a little with our bar neighbors, as AnOs almost knocked the guy on the right down for his two-second two-step with AngiO. (That went over way better than The Hawk's stealth stalking picture taking.) Well at some point, our neighbors started to interact with us, as depicted below:

AnOs declines to give the man a hand

In this photo, we see AnOs in flight after being prodded with the strange device this member of a rugby team (yea, go figure!) used to drink from. Now I've seen AnOs running around the bases at softball and during flag football, but you've never seen the man move until he turns around and realises he's just been poked with a penis-shaped cup.

The photo at the top? Yea, we managed to go to a ball-game after the second poster session. We had good seats to heckle the Dodger bull pen from, but they still won 11-1 or something like that. I mean it's baseball, you can't really expect me to pay too much attention.

Somehow the rest of the AFRIMS crowd that joined us managed to escape having their photos snapped, at least by me. Wallace was amongst them and his grin was as large as ever, having just been taken to his first ever Hooter's restaurant. His grin said it all: Democracy! Whisky! Sexy! So much for Sea World...

The title quote comes from local native PosterGirl and a discussion on just how smashingly nice Canadians really are.

2007-06-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Let's Make a Deal

Too bad Professional Eater is no longer checking in, she would have loved the reception spread: which included putin sauce and all the beer you could drink. AnOs and I were joined by Meg from Chapel Hill and Wallace, who works for USAMRIID in Kenya. Wallace has one of those infectious-sized smiles that all Kenyan’s seem to carry. He had just been to San Diego for the GEIS flu meeting we hosted at NHRC. His biggest thrill: Sea World. He spent seven hours there and thought it was the greatest thing ever. It was so refreshing to hear someone describe it without a hint of sarcasm, there was real joy in his eyes. His dream is to bring his kids back to the place and I hope it works out for him. Meg is doing some really cool culture based assays with influenza at Chapel Hill. I’m hoping we can work out some sort of collaboration and get some infectivity data on our strains. Wallace and I also worked out a new proposal for GEIS over a few beers. Since The Hawk hadn’t appeared yet, he couldn’t put a stop to our handshake to seal the deal. Networking Score:2 and the conference (Here) has barely begun!

Yes, still no sign of the Hawk and since it's really not like him to miss free food and beer, we're starting to get worried.

2007-06-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Camera one, closes in, the con-fer-ence begins…

Today the fun started. I managed to run into AnOs near the convention center. We went and had lunch at the Queen Mother Café. Now your Mars receives the vast majority of his pleasure aurally (read it again friend) and has never been one to near orgasm over culinary delights, but the food at the Queen Mother’s was exceptional. I had the Khao Soy Gai and let me tell you, I will never have it again, because you don’t’ mess with perfection. YUM! Served with a pint of Strongbow Cider, your Mars was indeed pleased. AnOs had The Beafeeter and was quite satisfied as well. We got served well again at the reception to the conference later: yummy potatoes with real putin gravy along with fresh served roast beef and turkey. Also, with free beer flowing we said 'ok, just one more' at least three times. Your Mars managed to snag the last Keith's Pale Ale before it was boxed away. Thank god for all that Beerfest training.

The opening speeches at the conference were what you would expect: we need to work together as pandemic influenza is a global problem, we need better communication, we need better coordination etc. etc. I did like the Canadian Public Health guy, he manged to quote Pasteur, Benjamin Disreali and George Bernard Shaw in his introduction. The fact that he spoke French isn't so impressive since he's Canadian :)

Oh, turns out that little ‘band’ thing that was going on at King’s St. West. That was the Much Music Awards. AnOs and I watched little Avril Lavign at an Irish pub dancing around mere meters away from where we had walked earlier. Canadians are so cute, but someone needs to tell them that no matter what, playing the fiddle just does not grant rock god status or merit the moves.

Tomorrow the real fun begins!

2007-06-18T19:55:00.001-07:00

"One Great City!"—The Weakerthans

I did my best to go record shopping today. All the vinyl that used to be has moved on… Now Sam’s was never my favorite record store, but an ‘end of an era’ sale means big discounts, and who am I to pass that up? I scored the 90’s box set “Whatever” (a 7 CD set by Rhino is a steal at $35 canadian) and a few other obscure albums (Josh White’s “Empty Bed Blues” and Oscar Brands double disc set of all 4 military services albums). “Whatever” meets the high standard of everything Rhino despite the side step to include a lot of ‘non-rock’ radio hits on the set (i.e. Hip Hop). In my opinion, some of it works (who could deny Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”) and some doesn’t (Me Shells "Was that your Girlfriend?"). Still, there’s lots of songs on here I wouldn’t bother with any other way ("Diz-Knee-Land", "Sex & Candy"). Guilty pleasures are still pleasures. Musing: Whatever happened to Monie Love? Where she at?

Trips to other nearby CD based stores were met yielded only a Twilight Singers single. Towards the end I headed down Queen St West were I found a nice Soul/Funk/Techno shop that had scored a number of picture sleeve 7”s. 10 for $15 Canadian. Your Mars was in Valhalla dear reader. Heck I even took home a tiffany 7” picture sleeve to round out the second set.

Some sort of video shoot was going on near the TV station:
(pics to come)

I heard their sound check and decided to move on :/

I had planned to check out the tribute to a local cowboy named Ned in the same area later this same evening. There was some sort of benefit for him, as he had passed nearly a decade ago. Since it sounded kind of country (odd for Toronto imho) I wanted to check it out. Sadly, when I got there around showtime (10:30) I learned I’d already missed the greater part. So I went out in search of some beer and a real wireless connection. Seems my hotel wireless doesn’t allow me to connect to blogspot.com or many other useful sites. I found Sotheby’s Deli, which promised both boons, but only brought the beer (Alexander Keiths India Pale ale Yum!). After the third one, the wireless just seemed like it would have only been icing anyway. The real icing turned out to be the cute & kind waitress who brought some tonic water when I managed to mustard myself.

Tomorrow the rest of the NRDL nerds show up and the conference starts. I’m thinking we have to sneak in a Blue Jays Game at some point…

2007-06-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

“I went back to Ontario and my city was gone—“
Paraphrased from the Pretenders

Today was a sad day for your noble god dear reader. I got in rather late, but I still managed to snag a swift stroll along Yonge St. and look for some old familiar sites. Sam the Record Man was closed, but I can smell a going out of business sale a mile away. The easy indicator was the ‘20% off all marked prices” sign I could see through the shuttered shop doors. This combined with Toronto Trevor’s tale of the final days of the folky record store that used to exist upstairs along Yonge (It breaks my heart to think of boxes of records hauled outside like trash and labeled ‘free’) weighs heavy on me. Alas, times change and all things must pass, but to go out with such loss of dignity…the very store that provided one of the Greatest Record Finds ever, (it would seem m pals dav's immortal site is now gone as well :( In an act so gracious that it could only come from Canada, the Mr. Gin Gin album was GIVEN to my pal Dav after he inquired about the price of the unmarked album. Yes all those stories you’ve heard of ‘nice’ Canadians aren’t fairy tales, they’re true whispers of a better way. Mr. Gin Gin has livened up many an alcohol injected evening, at least for Dav and I. Wives and girlfriends don’t seem to bear the same tolerance we have for multiple repeat playings. (Mainly because we only really care about, and play, the leadoff track.) I mean the whole thing is in French, except for the accent-heavy “She’s too fat, much too fat, much too fat for me” ramblings toward the end of the opener. Ah…such high entertainment gifted to us by the Canadian people. The last time we listened to it, I was driven to such an altered state as to bite one of Dav’s limbo LPs in half. That’s the power of Mr. Gin Gin. and lots and lots of beer.

If you’re keeping score at home, all the strip clubs are still intact. Some things never go out of style :/

2007-06-18T19:44:00.001-07:00

“I Wanna Go! I Wanna Go! To Ontario” – The Posies 'Ontario' from “Amazing Disgrace”

I’ve discovered the hardest part of blogging a blog called ‘wanderinwargod’ is that its really hard to blog outside of the wandering experience. There’s lots of wandering that’s been done since the Vienna/Croatia/Ljubljana trip (jaunts to Ohio, Whale Watching in Guerro Negro but outside of an internet connection, it’s just hard to keep up. We’ll see how I do here in the Great White North and I’ll try to catch up after that.

In any case, I’m excited to be back in a real foreign city, and by that I mean one with a non-'merican (Canadian is far enough away!) speaking population, cosmopolitan culture mix and public transportation. As the first foreign soil I ever set foot on, Toronto holds a special place in my mind and heart. It’s been nearly a decade since I’ve been here, so I’m really curious to see what’s changed. Sadly, I won't have any gorgeous grad students to guide me around this time, so I’ll have to rely on my own wits. hrm…

2007-02-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

What's up with all the orange?

One thing I noticed in Vienna: They love the color orange. Not the macho burnt orange of the terrific Texas Longhorns, but a bright uh....what's the word I'm looking for here...more wussy flavor of orange. It was everywhere. In any group of 5, there was guaranteed to be at least one person wearing the color. I'm not sure what the connection was, if it was the official color, or just made that way by populist actions, but it was different. Maybe that's the key.

Cheese's apartment

Several shades of orange for the bedding

The Metro

Cinema Ceiling

2007-02-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

Bears!

Back in Vienna, the world-wide Buddy Bear exhibition had made a stop. You can find out more about the bears, and the idea they represent here. No Stephen Colbert am I. Indeed I'm a big fan of bears. Below are some of my favorites.

Cuban Cigar Bear

The Moldovian bear answers the burning question:
Where the Heck is Moldova?

UK & US Bears

They were all pretty cool in one way or another. It was quite a fun exhibit.

2007-02-25T12:37:00.000-08:00

Zagreb

We got into Zagreb, Croatia's capitol, around rush hour. Despite the crowded conditions, we were able to locate a Rough Guide recommended hotel for the evening fairly quickly. After some parking instructions, we were able to secure a room normally meant for three. The Rough Guide says make your reservations early. as this place is a favorite. No doubt the big bonuses are its sophisticated beauty and high speed internet connection. It didn't hurt that we had a big flat screen TV in the room either. The return to technology was making cheese quite happy and I finally found out my beloved Buckeyes had beaten Texas.

Techno-geek approved

I think Cheese was happy to be back in the familiar surroundings of an older Europeon city, with public transportation and coffee shops every twenty feet. I think this picture gives the best feeling of the place, more so than any I took. We hiked around quite a bit and finally found a bar recommended by the Rough Guide and had several local brews. If we'd been on top of our game, we probably would have asked a couple of the local ladies who seemed curious to join us, but alas we just enjoyed the beer. Also, we were in a german car, and the locals seemed to enjoy a more traditional type of vehicle:

Crusing Zagreb Style

(Having spent several hours driving, riding on, or trailing behind a tractor, I'm allowed to make that joke. And make no mistake, chicks dig farm equipment!)

Sadly we didn't have time to stick around the following morning to check out much of the town's historical site, or learn much about what actually happened there damage-wise during the war. There did seem to be a number of buildings that had some external damage of some source.

Back to Vienna...

2007-02-25T11:51:00.000-08:00

Return of the Olive

We left the beauty of the Pula and sadly headed back towards responsibility, albeit a day later than we told Cheese's boss. This was some incredibly green and unspoiled country, made even more striking by the clear sunny sky. This is one of the things I live for, The Drive: good tunes, good company and the world laid out in splendor just for you to drive by and appreciate and no place to be in a hurry.

If you look at the map of the Croatian province we were in (Pazin) you can see a big river that cuts into the country side around Rasa. Along this river was set a huge power plant:

It did remind me a little of the Kyger Creek or the Simpsons-like Gavin plants I grew up around, but not enough to bother me. Where the river met up with the sea, there were some stunning views. There was also a little circular restaurant on property that would be worth millions in the states. Being the only place for miles, they really gauged the customers. I mean it cost cheese and I nearly $10 to have some beer & pizza (olive included) and gaze out upon this:

Million dollar views, $4 dollar pizza

If you look close you can see a sailboat in there. Go enjoy this before some developer gets his grubby hands on it.

2007-02-19T21:46:00.000-08:00

Crashing Croatia

After escaping Trieste, we headed into Croatia, land of limestone and tree covered hills. Now any caver can tell you that lotsa limestone means lotsa caves and sure enough, the Rough Guide directed us to the spetacular Skocjan Caves. I could not have been more happy we made the effort to see them. I've been to lots of caves in my life, from Kentucky to Texas and places in between, but the Skocjan Caves are among the most impressive. The sheer size and beauty would make Peter Jackson reshoot scenes from Lord of the Rings in envy. They wouldn't let us take pics inside (but you can find some on the web of course!) , so here's the exit:

Look close for the Hobbits

Luckily we made the tour of the caves in time. We weren't so lucky with lunch. Given the time restraints and one waiter to handle everyone, we only had time to order some fried potatoes. I asked for some ketchup, at which point Chesse told me I'd have to pay for the packets (God Bless America and Free Condiments!). Sure enough, he was right. Also, Croatian Ketchup is a little different than what we're used to. In fact, we'd probably call it 'mayonaise'. This little mix-up didn't keep Cheese from slothering it on his psuedo-fries.

At one point in the cave, you are several hundred feet above a river cutting through before it disappears even deeper into the earth. At one point in the cave's history, someone thought it would be a good idea to dam up the river. Turns out it wasn't a good idea and the local vally got flooded. Now they just give tours of the place. Standing there in a cave larger than the Horseshoe, I could not imagine the amount of water that had been contained, and the damage it must have done when released.

There's a map of the cave system. Here's a view of the church depicted on the map, as seen from the cave exit.

As close to Church as we got on the trip.

After the caves, we headed onward until we hit the city of Pula on the coast. I was super excited to finally see a real Roman Coliseum, the inspiration for more modern sports complexes (such as The Horseshoe). Pula is blessed to have a fairly large and well preserved one:

If I knew HTML, this would look better

There were relics of the Roman era scattered throughout town. Old buildings, gateways etc. Most had seen better days, but I still loved looking at their intricate details and imagining Roman times.

A funy thing happend to the forum: Acid Rain.

We decided to stay in the more touristy beach area rather than downtown. So after yet another delicous ice cream treat we headed out to the island-like outcroppings on the outskirts and scored a really spiffy hotel room. Spiffy, except that the blankets had been washed not in water, but in perfume. Nasty 2-dollar hooker perfume. I had to throw mine out on the balcony in order to sleep. Cheese can sleep through anything after a big enough ice cream. The place was beautiful dear reader:

Morning in Paradise

I really want to go back so I can do things like this:

Afternoon in paradise

Now I won't lie to my good friend, I am the hot-blooded Aries, but really, look at the following picture. All I caught was her foot! I didn't even know she was topless! (at first anyway) Still I didn't know how to say "I only got your foot" in Czech so I tried to indicate I was Canadian so impressions of Americans wouldn't take another hit.

Despite the lack of upper-wear
Girls are not so Gone Wild in Croatia

2007-02-19T20:34:00.000-08:00

Triste Trieste

I'm the sort of person that really took the whole, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" lesson to heart, so expect this section to be brief.

Trieste sits on the Adriatic Sea, about as far east in Italy as you can get. The people there have highly developed brains that let them navigate their incredibly complex roadway system.

I thought Trieste was just horrible. It took us forever to drive around and find anything, even with a highly detailed map of Trieste. Of course it was super crowded and full of zipping Vespas everywhere. Maybe you could go there and have a great time dear reader, but I was ready to leave about 15 mins after arrival. Compared to the nice tranquil pace of Ljubljana, this was sheer hell.

We finally scored a hotel after Cheese satisfied himself pricewise. Checking out hotels was complicated by the fact that you had to illegally park on the sidewalk, abandon the car in the street or perform some other complicated maneuver to allow you time to run in and make inquiries. Now I love my dear pal Cheese dearly, but his insistence to invest a lot of time to save a few bucks on a hotel doesn't entirely jive with my "Now!" Arian nature. Add that onto the parking problem, and you can see me and Trieste just started off on the wrong foot.

We unloaded our stuff (from the street) and drove the 2 miles (one block as the crow flies) to our parking spot. One bathroom break later and we're ready to go exploring, and I believe I discovered why the hotel met with Cheese's price requirements. It was a House of Freaks:

The Tip of the Freak Iceberg

Actually, the Freak show that happened later in the lobby was probably the highlight of the evening. I must have been missing San Diego a bit, as I was determined to see the sun set against the ocean. We walked quite a bit through the town, and it just wasn't exciting. The food wasn't all that great either. (Excpetion: The Ice Cream treats we had rocked!) The following day, we tried to check out the old castle, but it was under repair. So we set off to leave and faced another hour or so of backtracking and cursing at the map. We finally found our exit and headed down into Croatia.

2007-02-19T19:02:00.000-08:00

No Place Like Home

Between the Ohio-like country side, the Euro-Buckeyes and Jenny Holzer's art exhibit, it was clear the Ghost of Gallipolis was following me through Europe. However, I would have never guessed that the iconic Gallipolis Gazebo would show up in a one square block in downtown Ljubliana.

Oddly Like Odd Home

My maternal grandmother had taught me to yell at pesky poltergists in sets of threes to get them to leave you alone. So after a cry of "GAHS! GAHS! GAHS!" and a monster sized breakfast provided by the hotel, we set out for some exploring.

After trolling through some local stores (including a nicely stocked record store) we headed up to the old castle that used to dominate the local landscape. And it's quite a landscape:

OK, so it's bigger than Gallipolis.

The castle was pretty cool for an old D&D geek to see, but not out of this world. There had been a wedding there that day with traditional dancers and singing. Sadly we missed crashing it by about 5 mintues or so. After the hilltop hike, I convinced cheese to go and inspect the ruins of the Roman wall that had surrounding the old part of town. Sadly, there wasn't a whole lot left and it was more like a Roman low fence that might have kept out some rabbits in a pinch. There were bigger parts where some gates had been, and some benches, but nothing terribly exciting. Here's a Roman feature:

Not my graffiti, despite what the
spelling might lead you to think.

We explored the old part of town the rest of the day, got accosted by some young Euro-Christians and ended up drinking some more beer by the river to end the day. It was pretty easy to see why so many young people came to the place for a week or two, it was a beautiful relaxed setting. I certainly could have stayed there for several more days happily. I guessed the Gallipolis gremlins were gone after I found convincing evidence it wasn't small town Ohio after all:

"Shameless Hussy" defined.

We bulked up the following day at the local Mexican restaurant (not bad, but service was suh-low!) and then took off for the Italian coast. What a mistake that was.

2006-12-05T07:31:00.000-08:00

Eh, it is Only One Olive

We arrived late in Ljubljana, with a near full moon shining down upon the town. If I had been quicker, that photo would be really spiffy, as some sort of comet trail was following the moon. I was lucky enough to get the crappy shot I did. In any case we pulled out the Rough Guide for some eating advice. After a bit of searching, we found a pizza place with promised atmosphere and headed underground. The restaurant was in the lower portion of some huge old building, with brick vaulted arches everywhere. Medievel paintings (at least in subject matter) were ensconced along the walls. The place was huge enough that the smokers, despite their best efforts, couldn't fill the place with choke, in fact if not for one other nearby party, it would have almost been private. I became a bit concerned after looking over the menu. I wasn't bothered by the fact that the only thing they had to offer was pizza, but that every pizza offered olives. My request to remove them met with a chuckle from our server "Eh...I wouldn't worry, it is only one olive". Sure enough, the food came with one big olive right smack in the center, easy enough to pluck out. After dinner, we strolled the streets a bit. Both sides of the river that flow through the town (the Ljubljanica) were spotted with cafes serving beer, wine and coffee, so we sat down for a night cap. The town is a popular destination spot with students, and there were many around staying in cheap looking hostel type spots near the river. We got handed all sorts of flyers for late night discos and dance clubs promising all sorts of wacky high octone drinks. Not my thing, and since we were prety wiped, we decided to rest up for the day of exploration to follow.

2006-12-04T21:17:00.000-08:00

Slovenia is for Slovers

After securing a rental car at the local tram station (nowhere near as painful as I thought it would be) Cheese and I set off down the A2 towards Ljubljana. You know how previously cooped-up krauts drive on open roads? Before long we were passing through Klagnefurt and by the beautiful Lake Worthesee. Worth way more than a see, it looked loverly enough to warrant a vacation on its own. As you can see from the picture, we were right in the middle of a valley that started at the lake, went up the forested hills to the spectacular mountains in the background. Look at that picture and be jealous! Occasionaly you could see a little castle or small fortification up in the hills. They looked like they hadn't been touched for centuries. There was certainly no easy access to any of them.

Eastern Block

Soon enough, it was time to cross over into the forbidden land: Slovenia, stronghold of the Eastern Bloc and my conjured childhood foes, The Commies. Two things immediately went wrong: First, the iPod broadcast station was taken over by some (I'm assuming here) commie talk radio and couldn't regain the signal. This was the start of our love/hate relationship that made me appreciate the fact that I still have a cassette player, and therefore a cassette adaptor, for my iPod. This broadcast stuff (iTrip) is for creeps like ClearChannel. Secondly, after passing through the pictured passage, we hit the worst weather of the trip. The pass between steep slopes shuts out the sun, and a fog, at first just misty, quickly turned to rain. Not far in, we found some promised cheaper-than-EU-price gas. I tell you, there is nothing like a quickie-mart to make an American feel at home. This one came complete with white trash family (his shirt: Porn Star; her shirt: Love Sucks; kids shirts: dirty; Cheese quote "At least they agree about something") and every kind of salted product you could ask for. Naturally, I went for some chocolate to bolster the days dwindling supply. I felt like I was on the road between Charleston WVa and Gallipolis OH. The only thing missing were coal seams in the cut -away mountains.

This bit of gloomy was immediatley gone upon arrival in Ljubljana, but that's for the morrow.

2006-09-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

Back to Blogging

Apologies for the downtime, but I had to readjust to life in these United States. My goal is one trip day per current weekday until I'm finished. I'll try to put in some more food related items for my pal PE.

More below.

Oh yea, here's a shot from Vienna Rob should appreciate:

Sorry, no frozen goods available.

2006-09-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

You Are a Victim of the Rules You Live By

Knowing we might cut things close coming back from our road trip, I wanted to head out to the airport and claim my return ticket before we set off. Having changed my departure date from the dreaded 9-11 to the following Wednesday, I needed to pick up my new paper tickets. At the airport I saw this:

This is art. No really. It's like museum quality stuff.

This reminded me of a tortured tale from my younger days. It was during one glorious spring in the wilds of Ohio University that I decided perhaps my current relationship was best broken. I beg you sensitive readers to forgive my youthful callousness, but the springtime spell of the college campus beckoned and my playful soul was ready to burst forth upon the greens like a rapidly budding branch. Of course, this required parting from my equally playful companion L. As these things go, it wasn't such an enjoyable springtime for L, who had to suffer the consequences of my will to wander. This was compounded by the fact that she was then force to serve her student art teacher duties in the Gallia County School district, my home county. Thus, by the time summer arrived, L was quite ready for some time away from Southeastern Ohio and its painful memories. So, being the intellectual artist (I do have good taste dear reader) and having a stepfather in the airline industry, L decided that she would head off to New York City and repair her soul at the famous New York City Museum of Modern Art, where paintings and sculptures would lift her spirits and inspire her own art with new creativity. Instead, the cruel fates treated her to an installment of ~~crap~~ art like this:

No, not the block of granite, the display.

Well, the words on the display actually.

Here is how I recall L retelling it later (We're dear friends now, of course): "We walked into the museum and I'm all excited about the possibilities and the first thing I see is all these giant LED displays everywhere, scrolling sayings and phrases that are supposed to make you think, like "The future is stupid". Well that got old before we even paid our entrance fee. But it wasn't until we'd paid that I realized that the other halls and exhibits were locked off, and that the entire museum was given over to the work of this one artist whose medium was flashing words. That was bad enough, but it wasn't until I was reading over her biography that the proverbial kick in the crotch came in."

Some of you astute readers may have already guessed from the artist's name "Holzer" where her origins might lie. She's from my hometown of Gallipolis Ohio. Her father built the hospital where my mother worked and 80% of Gallipolis was born (the rest really were born in barns, so forgive the open doors). You can imagine that for one trying to avoid reminders of that low-brow local, the irony was lost on L. "It was like I had been given balls for the sole purpose of having them kicked. I wanted to puke. It ruined the whole trip really."

I should take this opportunity to thank L for not kicking me square in the nads when I unabashedly laughed my ass off upon hearing this a few years later. Of course, I realized that my fellow gods had punished her for making off with my favorite toothbrush sometime during that spring, but that's a tale for another time. (But be warned mortal, there are no such things as coincidences!)

In any case, Jenny Holzer has an exhbit titled 'XX' of her truisms (like the title of this entry) at the Vienna MAK museum/art gallery through October. Sorry, didn't get a chance to check out her temporary LED graffiti, as we were headed south to Slovenia.

2006-09-13T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way-ay...

Well, that's it. My luggage is full of chocolate and all the underwear and socks have been worn at least twice. Apologies for the lack of posts, but all the hotels in Slovenia/Croation/Italy lacked access, and the tenuous connection we had at Cheese's apartment finally gave up the ghost. You'll have to wait til I get some time at home. By the sound of things, there is plenty of work to be done when I return as well.

Holy crap, the Buckeyes held Texas to 7pts. Would have never predicted that.

more later.

2006-09-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

Vienna

Nearly every building in Vienna is photo-worthy. However, pictures just don't do them justice (at least from my camera). You can't capture their size and include all the intricate details at the same time. I don't even know what a third of them are, they just look impressive.

You can't throw a brick in Vienna without chipping off something ornate.
I've tried three times now.

Since cheese is one of the session chairs, and he knows the conference organizers, I got to crash the reception dinner held in the stately Rathaus. I have to revise my predicted ratio of men to women here at the conference to about 10:1. The food was good and you couldn't help but feel a little regal in the extravagant surroundings (follow the links to the festival hall). I talked a good deal with Wolfgang from the University in Osla (he doesn't know Ottar). In the summertime, he gives hiking tours in Norway, so that may be on the agenda in the far-off future.

Some of the other interesting places I've visited include the Pathology-Anatomy museum. The skeleton on the front-page is one of their centerpieces. Their basic collection includes preserved tissues and molds made from people infected with various diseases. At least I think they were molds, they were disturbingly life-like. The syphilus section being the overall winner in that category. They also have a large collection of skeletons from people with various spinal deformations. They weren't offering an English tour the day I arrived but since I have some 'medical' connections, the lady at the front desk let me walk around the first floor on my own. Trust me, they have lots and lots of bent skeletons.

The Gasometer structure is an inspiring piece of archeticture to look at, despite being a shopping mall today. The metal apartments on front make the whole outfit look space-age.

I did find a record store today. They had tons of 45s, which is exciting for someone from the single-starved US. It seems to be a Billy Joel themed trip as I picked up the hard to find "All for Leyna" single (it flopped in the US, I don't think a PS was even released) and "Say Goodbye to Hollywood". There were some others, but they were from his later days when he started to wuss out (I can hear Rob's comment now: "Started?" but he had some attitude in the early days) or some schmuck had written on the cover. The real score was the vinyl copy of Fish's "Internal Exile" album.

In the midst of racking up an impressive bar tab

Last night I met up with Cheese and some other folks from the Grpahics conference for dinner and some drinks. A good time was had by all. Matt, on the left, offered up some funny Canadian jokes that were baby seal variations of the interrupting-cow knock-knocks. (Baby seal walks into a club *WHAM*) Of course, Cheese ordered a lot of schnapps for everyone. Maybe too many. At least that is what mein kopf is suggesting to me this morning.

Like most meetings, the adenovirus meeting ended with the announcement of where the next one would take place. Turns out its Budapest, and will be held on an accelerated schedule of two years. (That's right lab rats, ask Dave for projects now! Work hard and Dave & I will do our best to present your work properly in Hungary.) Because of that, Cheese and I have been rethinking our travel plans. Car-company permitting, the current model is to drive through Slovenia (Ljubljana) and the way to the coast of Croatia (Pula), stopping along the way at the Italian port city of Trieste. It had better be nice since I'm missing the most important college football game ever. I know, I know, poor me.

2006-09-05T01:41:00.000-07:00

Vienna: Sex, Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll. And food.

These two shots are taken from the same corner. On the left we see Cheese standing by his university-provided apartment complex. On the right we see Cheese next to Club Xema. That's right folks, I'm staying in a bona fida Europeon red light district with at least three brothels in a two-block radius. Of course this is all across the street from the State Fair-like amusement park. (Drop off the kids, and come take an adult ride!) Now I know what all of you are thinking: Awesome! (Ok, just Rob) but walking home past the Eastern bloc girls running down cars at every corner whilst various Guidos and West Si-eed pretenders kept an eye on the whole operation didn't really sit well with me. It's nice they are so liberated here, but I'm betting its more along the lines of simply ignoring the foreigners and their problems.

I did think our location could help out with one current issue facing the organizer of Cheese's conference. Held in stately Vienna, the organizer couldn't resist having a meeting-ending reception as a full on Ball. As in fancy dress and ballroom dancing. Attendees are even provided lessons every night this week for those who lack the required social education. Now, given that its a computer-geek conference, the organizer has aleady taken the step of forcing every female in his institute to attend. Even with this, I'm betting the ratio of men to women at the conference is going to be something like 3.14159 to 1. I suggested we then collect some of the local street walkers to help make up for this deficit. That way, every programmer gets a real live women and the girls get to go to a fancy ball. I know, I know, I'm brilliant at times aren't I? Of course, all of this assumes three hours perpindicular with a programmer is preferable to their regular horizontal routine.

Like most vegitarians, Cheese lives vicariously through others who still have the divine pleasure of eating flesh. So, the first thing we had to do in downtown Vienna, was go to Figlmuller for world's widest weinerschneitzel:

Sadly, not for use as a tortilla

Specially sliced to be so thin, and breaded with crumbled Emperor's rolls, it was quite a tasty treat and even Cheese couldn't resist momentarily forsaking his vegan vows. If you have a guidebook to Vienna, this place will be mentioned. Be sure and bring it to flip through whilst waiting on your weiner, or you'll look like an out-of-place dork.

After lunch we headed over to the Kunstmuseum which had an exhibit on, what else, Psychedelic art from the 60's and 70s. The art itself was groovy as expected, and your Mars was happy to see real albums being used as art (at least the covers). Plus, the exhibit was so complete as to feature actual arty acid tabs, my favorite being the sheet made out like a telegramm from Arthur Ginsberg. So this, along with the light-show projection room and booming 60's jam music (thankfully not the Dead) had all the ingredients for a full-on rave to break out at any moment. Unfortunately, I was already under observation for trying to read the liner notes on their very rare copy of Farewell Aldebaran by Judy Henske & Jerry Yester.

The exhibit shed some light on a recent confusing moment for me: the big visual sequence at the end of 2001:A Space Odyssey. By 1968, light shows were viewed as a new art-form in their own right, one that could provide a trip for those too square to drop acid. So Kubrick was merely using the lastest and greatest visual method to express some mind expansion. Guess its one of those moments that needs to be surrounded by the rest of the year to be fully appreciated and understood.

We followed this with a tour of that old Europeon standard, the Big Ol' Gothic Church. The cool part was walking through the catacombs beneath, where bones had been stacked like cordwood in the good days, and scattered Helter-Skelter during the Black Plague years. I should have snuck a couple of photos for posterity.

We walked through the downtown square (there are dozens of beautiful old buildings, I'll try and Flickr the lot of them) before heading off to dinner. Our destination was a restaurant called simply "Burrito". Nowadays, Burrito is a mixed African-Asian restaurant, and even in its heyday was simply an Austrian restaurant run by a local enamored with Mexico. The food was excellent though, and thankfully they took the time to create a veggie dish for Cheese. We assured the Ghannan owner that he could simply wrap up his meat and rice dishes in a tortilla, and the many who visited asking for burritos would be quite happy.

Tomorrow, I'm going back to the Video Game museum. You can even play the old games. If they didn't close at 6PM, this might be my last post.

2006-09-05T01:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary!!!!

It's been (approximately) two years since Mars used his divine powers to join Bill and Judy in Holy Matrimony. Congrats to the happy couple and continued blessings and best wishes. To borrow a phrase from one of the new kids on the block, go forth, be fruitful and multiply! Here's a few pics from the ceremony and the Best. Reception. Ever.

I love this shot. No its not "New York, New York", its "Y-M-C-A"

Melanie explains to Mars why, despite a NC, Tressell still sucks.
You think I'm kidding, don't you?

2006-09-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

La Musica

Our guide had mentioned that in the month of September, Zurich was keeping all the museums etc. open late. They were also featuring free live music performances at the Operhaus. I got there in time to get a good seat for the 7PM performance, which turned out to be a run through Mendelssohn’s 3rd Symphony (“Scottish”). Despite Zurich’s tourist aspect, this was a show for the locals, with all the performers (sadly no redhead cellists) wearing jeans and waving to their kids in the audience.

It was a rollicking piece with lots of nice basso-rumble and Billy the Kid style rhythms. The conductor was a young American who really got into his role, using his whole body as the baton. Seeing this made the whole concept of a CD seem silly.

After the run-through, the conductor went through some rehearsal action with the group. I thought the performance was gold to begin with, but I had to agree that his suggestions (from ‘play that section a little more clearly’ to ‘its sad, but not that sad, more like a distant memory’) were spot on. The only one I didn’t buy was when he told the timpani to play ‘a little crisper’. Cucumbers are crisp buddy, timpani just bOOm! In any case,the 'behind the scenes' peak was rather interesting to watch.

Prior to my trip, a friend suggested loading the ipod with some Beethoven to get ready for Vienna. A good suggestion, but I actually find myself drawn more to another piece, one that I picked up for one of those “The Year You Were Born” collections I often promise to people but never seem to deliver. (Only two have actually reached distribution) It’s Shostakovich’s String Quartet No. 15 Op. 144 and it is as sad and heavy as a lonely mountain. I like it for its minimalist nature and the echoes of 'Psycho' that filer through. If I can figure out how to post some empee-threes, I'll put the march up for everyone to enjoy. If not try and imagine what a Russian composer contemplating his own death would come up with. Yup, a spoonful weights a ton.

2006-09-04T02:13:00.000-07:00

Last Meeting Day: Talks and Walks

The last day of the meeting featured some of the more interesting talks, at least for me. The two basic topics were immunology and gene expression studies. The gene expression studies were all over the place and which emphasized their dangers. On one hand, you get lots of data. Like terrabytes worth, and its really hard to sort through all that data carefully and get data you are confident in. So, we had Ad studies saying everything from 20 to 7000 genes were affected by infection. On the other hand, doing studies with transformed cell lines growing in a dish may not be the best way to find out what really happens when a complex vector (i.e. a human) actually becomes infected, no matter how many time points you take. Without all that intracellular communication, I'm not sure any of the signals you see are real. I've been consulting with a DoD group who has tried to do the experiments with actual infected recruits, and they've run into the problem of human data too noisy to deconvolute. Caught between the fruit fly and the petri dish.

Of course, everything was running late, and I wanted to both have lunch and drop off my laptop before going on the sponsored hike through Zurich. I grabbed a Co-Op kebob (best of the bunch) and headed to Paradeplatz to meet up with everyone doing the walking tour. I actually got there about a half-hour early, so I headed down towards the lake to kill some time. There was a flea market going on and someone had a collection of early seventies 45s. I didn't have time to dig through all of them, but I'm already kicking myself for not buying the Paranoid picture sleeve. I mean its SABBATH!

The walking tour was interesting, with lots of tales of early Zurich. Turns out it has been invaded by both the Romans and The Celts of all people. Talk about overachieving. Even the lady who organized the tour was griping about how the meeting was arranged, and she had asked to do the tour during the meeting, which would have dramatically increased attendance, and gotten us into a few more places. Being the type of person that has to know the origin of everything (Zurich comes from the name of a local tribe leader, Tsuri) I really enjoyed the hearing tales of all the old buildings. The tour was led by a former Master of the Carpenter's Guild, which given the role of Guild's in Zurich's history, he's basically minor nobility. It's difficult to explain the complexity of the Guilds and membership (for instance, our guide was a mathematician and knew nothing of carpentry) but its your basic boys club of insiders. The lady who organized the trip took every oppurtunity to rib the Master about the exclusion of women from the guilds. We ended the tour with him showing us the exquisite downtown guildhouse, and their collection of ornate drinking glasses donated by members over the years. In times of trouble, these were melted down to make gold and silver ingots, but quite a number had survived. The shots above/below are of the top floor of the Guild House, which looks like it could have been used for evil syndicate planning. You can see the river running through the middle of town in one shot. Also, there are a few shots of the devils in the details from one of the main Zurich church.

The train ride to Vienna was beautiful but uneventful. Basically, we came down the valley that is Austria between the alps the entire way. Quite scenic, but I didn't feel like being the tourist trying to shoot shots through the window. The best part was that Cheese was here at the end of it. It seems he has been sending me emails, but they are not reaching me for whatever reason. Must be one of those internet tubes plugged up somewhere.

2006-09-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

"Vienna Waits for You"--William Joel

A few shots of Zurich for you. Time to head out on the 9 hour train ride to Vienna. Still haven't heard from Cheese, which is making me a bit nervous. Hopefully, he's just busy. I'll fill you in on the last day of the meeting and some sight seeing at the next internet connection. Hat tip to Ames for the title. Oh, and whomever came up with the idea of putting strawberry yogurt on bran flakes needs to be given a large sum of cash. Europeon food needs all the creativity it can get.

2006-09-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

Day 3: Needs more Alphorn

There's been a nice trend at the latest round of meetings to feature some traditional music, such as the German band at the beerkeller in Bayern, and the traditional asian-instrument sounds at the Korean tRNA-synthetase meeting. This meeting was no different, as it featured an attractive young Alpine Horn player. Her poster promised that she had brought the instrument into modern times, by doing some funk, jazz and blues variations in addition to the normal Riccola commercial style music. I was looking forward to it.

The dinner table was laid out with a collection of various spiny fruits from around the region. I guess buckeyes aren't the only thing that have had to develop some sort of defence against tenacious brids over here.

The food was good, the wine was flowing and the music was...well a little disappointing. The blues numbers were the best, as the jazz tended toward the Kenny G(blows) variety. She sang a couple of songs as well, and had a costume change between every course (hopefully Liz's photo's came out better than mine, as some of the outfits were rather spicy dear reader). I hope her lyrics in german were better because "I'm the swiss lady, and you can take me as I am baby" and "Everyone is trying hard to be cool/trying to be cool isn't so cool" made me feel like a third grade teacher hearing yet another book report about "Treasure Island".

At the end of her show, she offered the chance to let some people give the Alpine horn a chance. Nothing like sharing spit at an Adenovirus meeting. Our Man Morris gave it a try:

Morris Jones appears courtesy of George W. Bush Records

I forgot to mention that after Dave's morning scouting report, we ditched the last few evening talks and headed to the Clock museum in downtown Zurich. Small, but pretty darn cool. My favorite were the mystery clocks, with no visible means of moving the hands:

I'm on time homie, that's how it goes

Turns out there are two or more glass plates that slide up and down ever so slightly to turn the hands. The mechanism is hidden in the glass frame, which also hides the glass edges, so you can't tell there is more than one pane. Clever.

2006-09-01T04:28:00.000-07:00

Day 3: The Trek

The plan was to hike up to the top of a local incline (it's hard to call it a mountain with the alps in the background) at Uetliberg and snap a lot of photos, and relieve my typing burden. Unfortunately, my camera gave me some sort of 'card not initialized' error. Too bad, because its the first sunny day here in weeks, and the views were spectacular. You can get an idea if you do a google image search for Uetliberg or Uto Kulm, which is the hotel at the top.

Dave mentioned the hike wasn't so bad, and this was confirmed by the desk staff at the loverly Bristol hotel. Somehow I missed the normal way up to the top and ended up on a grueling Grouse Grind version of the ascent. The bonus was that I only saw one other person, so I could rest often without shame. I must have been in War God form (wild-eyed, sweaty, hair flying) as I emerged from the forest onto the main trails, because everyone looked at me like an invading norseman.

Once at the top of the earth-upraising, you can climb another 70 meters up the tower. From this vantage point, you can get some pretty darn spiffy views of the lake, the surrounding alps and the city of Zurich itself. Shame about that camera, for both of us dear reader.

There's a good description of the hike here. I started at Albisguetli (left side of the map down a bit) and ended up at Ueitliburg Kulm.

PS.
The 'take-away' indian place next door has all the kabob places beat by a mile.

2006-09-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Day 3: "I'll shit like a wildcat for a week if you put my name on the paper"

It's been pointed out to me that I haven't actually mentioned what meeting I'm at. It's the 2006 International Congress on Adenovirus.

Thursday's program was scheduled from 9AM til 10PM. Given the windbagosity of any scientist provided with a chance to describe their work, or ask a question to show how much the know at the end of every talk, 10PM was a generous estimate at best. Today continued the entry session (over which there is a good deal of healthy debate) and led into "Replication and Host Cell Interactions" before ending with "Evolution". Like every meeting, there are good and bad talks. The good ones seem to whiz by, while the bad ones can make you feel every second tick slowly away. One of the problems for this meeting is that the speakers are given a whopping 25 mintues to tell their tales. At first I didn't mind so much, as the speakers would start off with some background thats new to me. By the 2nd session, the later speakers had sussed that speaker number one bore the burden of background, and had replaced their intro slides with more data. Wahoo.

Dave and Adriana spoke during the Evolution section, and both of their talks went well. Unfortunately, by this point of the day, the Chair was limiting questions to the speakers in a vain attempt to try to get back on schedule. I felt bad for Adriana as several hands shot up immediately after her talk, but no questions were allowed. The talk that followed was by Don Seto and was mostly about bioinformatics, so people used this time to ask questions about Adriana's work. The biggest was "Why does Ad4/Species E only affect military populations?" Not a surprising question given that every other talk had been about Ads B-D. Therein lies the answer to their question: everyone is still Ad4 niave when the enter training camp, although many have been exposed to the other Ads out their in the wild. Recruits are fresh fruit for virulent viruses.

I met Morris Jones today, an African-American Air Force member who works out of Travis Air Force Base north of San Diego. Our conversation started off a bit rough: I was curious if he was enlisted or contracted (he was wisely out of uniform despite protocol) and he gave me a momentary case of white-guy conversation paralysis with his response of "I'm the property of George W. Bush". (What do you say to that?? I said "Oh that's nice. (pause) I like football.") After that, we had a good chat at lunch about the DoD etc (turns out he's getting all the Affy equipment that used to be at AFIOH) and science in general.

It also turns out he's the one presenting the proposed discovery of a new gastroenteritis adenovirus (that's right, Serotype G, Species 52) that was found in the stool samples of an outbreak cluster in Los Angeles. At the poster session, the Adenovirus Police were on heavy patrol, and not entirely out of chest-thumping impulses, as you need to be rigourous regarding such claims. It was almost comical to see the disconnect from the 'scientists' from those on the medical side of things. They all asked a variation of the same question: "Why didn't you: A) take a blood sample; B) take repeated anal swabs; C) sacrifice and harvest organs from the affected patients?" Everytime Morris would patiently explain that by the time he got the grown monkey cells, those affected were long gone from the hospital, that IRBs frown on organ farming without the proper written consent and that there's really not much he can do about that.

Although the sequence is unique, Morris's proposed Ad species is phylogentically very similar to simian adenoviruses. Since it was cultured in monkey cells, the question arises if the source is truly human, or if it is the monkey used to make the culture cells. (It should be noted that Ad4 is also a lone-star adenovirus whose closest relatives are monkey-ads, and it has no problem affecting humans.) To help clear this up, Dave generously offered to eat the new adenovirus in the name of science and Koch's Postulates. From that discussion comes the title of this entry. I invited Morris to come give a Thursday talk at NHRC about his new Ad.

After the late-nite poster session, most of the attendees headed over to the local student pub to have a few brews and round out the evening. Everyone was grumbling about the meeting being a bit too ambitious (there was almost a riot at lunch as the extended session ended near the closing time of the cafe where free meals are provided.) Dave and I were joined by Wake Forest Dave and Paola from Argentina. Paola, a good friend of Adriana's, had given the final talk of the evening about Ad7H affecting children in Argentina. She'd done some sequence analysis and shown that the fatal cases all clustered into a unique group, so she was hot on the trail of finding lethal virulence markers. She told a really funny story of how her husband had joined her at the first meeting she went to after they had gotten married. The meeting was in Cancun, Mexico, during Spring Break. Thus, her husband had used up all their camera AND video film the first day of the trip. He has since offered to go with her to all other meetings. (He's home with the kids for this one.)

Tomorrow is Ad vector stuff. Dave promises to cover, while I'm heading to a local hike before the afternoon sessions start.

2006-08-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

Day 2 Continued: The Meeting Begins

Being an insomniac, I really appreciated the days you lie down and within minutes are magically transported to 6AM the following day. I knew when I woke up at 4AM local time and couldn’t get back to sleep it was going to be a long day, and nothing stretches days like talks about adenovirus penton structures and CAR binding debates. Actually, everything today was interesting; it was just that the jet-lag kicked in pretty hard towards the end. We’re on a grueling schedule that demands some stamina from the participants. I remember meetings like this, its just been a while. For instance in Korea, we had every afternoon off. I think I would prefer that here as well, as that gives you time to see a few things in the day, before back to bidness at the night sessions.

I met up with Dave and Liz and they had a great time on their hike to the top of a Swiss peak. Hopefully I can get some of Dave’s pictures up here as well. Dave’s talk got cut from 25 mins to 10. I can’t think of a worse person for that to happen to, at least as far as the organizers should be concerned. HA!
He should be OK, he's speaking in a block with collaborators Adriana Kajon and Don Seto, whom he can both use for introduction.

Fish on...

2006-08-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

Day 2: I told you it looked like Ohio

Along the way to the Kunsthaus, I found this:

Surely some of you dear readers recognize these objects? No, I’m not going to make a nutsack joke. It’s a real live Buckeye tree, from whence my home state gets its name. I thought I saw some last year in Germany, but I didn’t get the chance to investigate. Today, I got to play the part of crazy-homeless/stupid-foreigner dude as I kicked around on the ground to find some fallen nuts. Sure enough, I cracked a few open and there was the familiar brown and white buckeye inside. I’m taking this as a good omen for Ohio State’s Football season.

If you look real close, you'll notice that Euro-buckeyes are spinier than Ohio buckeyes. I found that out when I tried to pry a few open with my hand. They are the real deal, as you can see below. The white one below wasn't done cooking when I opened it, but I wanted to try and give you a shot whilst the eye was still white, before it oxidizes to brown.
Anyway, I know ya'll want some proof that I'm not just slacking in Ohio, so here you go. Yes that's the camera cord:

2006-08-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

Day 2: A Wanderer Wanders

My plan for the day was for some sightseeing before the meeting started at 2PM. The hotel receptionist suggested the Kunsthaus Art Museum. I walked through the old part of Zurich, past the shops selling everything from kitsch (swiss army knives) to erotica, with lots of fashion in between, and cafes, kabob shops and discos on the way there. A block or so from the river, you get into the university area, which looks more like a centuries old europeon city. The Kunsthaus wasn’t open yet, so I walked over to the campus. I found the Biological History Museum on the University Campus and took a quick tour to help kill some time. It was pretty impressive, lots of in situ dinosaur bones and a description of how they carefully expose them from the shale. Some of the pieces where massive, having entire 10 ft long swimming dinosaurs embedded within. Spiffy!

By this time the Kunsthaus was open and, lucky me, free for the day. I checked out the “The Expanded Eye” exhibit, which is basically a group of pieces from the 60’s with an optical illusion bent. You know they type; lots of black and white spirals and straight lines that move around when you try to focus your eye on them. There was also a Dali painting which always makes my day. The piece on the book cover is one of the more interesting pieces, from a certain distance you swear you can see a person’s face in there, but it fractilizes out as you approach. The self-portrait sculpture someone had done of their head was truly incredible and downright freaky. I kept expecting it to talk, it looked so lifelike, yet so odd, at the same time. This exhibit wins the Mars Award for Best Exhibit to See with Senses Amplified.

I also walked through the rest of the galleries they had at Kunsthaus. There were some darn good paintings, like the witches stuffing people in chimneys and the many of the Angel/Altar paintings on gilded-gold backgrounds, and they had a collection of modern art with everyone you could hope for: Lichtenstein, Rothko, Warhol and quite a few others. All of this was nice, but what really ‘impacted’ me as art was Alexandria Mir's feature exhibit called “Switzerland and other Islands”. This was a series of giant fantastical maps, usually of Switzerland as some sort of island (a political island, a topographical map) or fictional places like Treasure Island or Manhattan. The sense of humor and playfulness in the pieces really reached me and I found myself cracking up several times. Best of all, it was all done with the scientists best friend: The Sharpie. It turns our Sharpies are made by a Swiss company and they donated 2000 of them to help make the exhibit. Smashing.

Time for the meeting…

2006-08-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Zurich Arrival
I thought the same thing flying into Switzerland as I did Germany: Looks like Ohio. The similarity disappears the second you step off the downtown train, as there's no mistaking a Europeon city central for an abandoned American one. That excitement created by the mix of hinted familiarity and something unknown hit me as I walked around in the train station. Zurich promises to be a beautiful city, with the swan-filled green river running down the middle past old Gothic Buildings.

It's a bit too organized here though. I got off the train at 8:30 and by 9:15 I had: Navigated my way to my hotel where I arranged to stay one day later; Bought a train ticket for Vienna and; Bought a power adaptor for the Mac. This presented a bit of problem since I couldn't check in til 2PM, time I was hoping to kill with some of the menial tasks. Thankfully, the hotel let me drop off my bags and told me something should be ready around 11AM.

Of course, there is always time to eat something in a wrap. I hunted around for somewhere that was selling a coke for less than 4 francs and eventually found a kebob place under the train station. Not bad, and the coke helped wake me up after the long day of traveling.

I slept a bit longer than I had hoped too after checking in. I blame that on the hotel being so thoughtful as to include large portable fan for the room. For someone that has had to have some sort of noise-maker for naps since I was 11 or so, this is normally a godsend, but I was hoping to get some sight seeing in today. It may not have mattered, as it rained to be the band all afternoon. Then again, that didn't matter to me, as it's been so long since I've been rained on, I couldn't resist hiking around for an hour or so after I did wake up. This led to Kabob #2 (still not as good as the German ones, but I'm hoping the university area will offer some improvements) and beer #1. I love Europe.

Tomorrow, I'll try to check out a few things before the meeting starts at 2Pm. Also, I 'll try to master my new digital camera and have a few shots up.

cheers,
mars